New Relationship Holiday Etiquette

New Relationship's are exciting and stressful at the same time, not to mention VERY stressful around the holidays.



Do we purchase gifts for each other?

If we do, how much is appropriate to spend?

Do we go to holiday parties together?

And the hated - Do we spend the holidays with each others families?!

Here is an article I came across and thought it would be helpful for all those in a new relationship this holiday season.

READ IT HERE

Wednesday's Thought

Beating the holiday blues!

The holidays are usually a time of festivities, happiness, and festivities.  Unfortunately, it's also a time for sadness and depression. It can bring out the best and the worst in people! Memories of previous holidays ( good and bad ), can make this time pretty emotional for us.  Here's a little list of ways to beat the holiday slump- we've all been there!

1. Go to events!  Go to the office Christmas party or your aunt's cookie exchange.  It may sound silly, but who knows. That one little community play you went to may have been your reason for the season!  Enjoy the festivities.

2. Give back.  If you don't have a big family function to attend this season, why not volunteer?  Spend your holidays giving back and you may find yourself having the best holiday ever.

3. Lay off the peppermint schnapps! Alcohol is definitely a depressant and though it can be fun, it will actually end up making you feel crummier.

4. Understand and discuss your feelings. It's absolutely normal to feel blue around the holidays.. but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone!  Reach out to a friend or family member.  You never know, they may be having a bad holiday season too.

5. Set a new holiday tradition.  Even if it's by yourself, pick something that you want to incorporate into your annual celebration.  Cut down your own Christmas tree?  Go Christmas shopping for another family? Volunteer?  Pick something and go after it!

8 Places to Meet Someone in December

Meeting people is hard especially during the hustle & bustle of the holidays.

Here is an article on 8 unexpected places to meet people in December.

Check it out HERE!

How to love someone.

There are a bunch of myths about love:

If you're always there for them- that's how you love someone. [Not true, it turns out.]
By always doing things for them, that's how you love someone. [Also not true and a quick way to unhappiness.]
Love happens instantaneously and lasts forever. [It's work, work, work.. Oh, and more work!]
The right guy/girl will always let me be right. [Haha... Psych! Real love doesn't mean being right.]

I've come up with a couple of ways that I love the people in my life. Some apply more to romantic relationships than platonic ones.

1. Tell them the things that make them great.  In sharing with them the things you love most, it can bring the two of you guys closer.  Maybe they don't see the things that make them great, or they just need to know that you see them too.


2. Be genuine!  Sincerely give compliments and praise. Genuinely ask opinions and viewpoints.  Listen.  Share.


3. Don't overdo it.  I know I just said to be genuine and sincere, but this doesn't mean sharing EVERY time you're upset or disgruntled.  Spend some time alone, digesting your thoughts before you share something.  Be genuine, but also a little tough.  Know yourself well enough to let the small things go.


4. Listen... and when you're done listening, keep listening.  A lot of people complain about their partners lack of interest or contribution to conversation... Most of the time this goes back to the fact that they don't feel heard.  When you feel that your partner/friend is attentive and listening, you're more likely to share.


5. Don't focus on why they need to be different.  You can't fix other people.


6. Respecting them doesn't mean you have to approve every action or stance. You can't control every aspect of their life!  Sometimes you need to love them and step back.


7. Don't be a doormat.  Sometimes you have to step it up and help those in your life, but not all the time.  Healthy relationships doesn't equal being a doormat.

What are the ways that you love the people in your life?

Hard work.

There's no question that relationships are tough. The day-to-day can really make a relationship feel lackluster. Running errands, making sure bills are paid, changing the oil in your car... Not exactly the most thrilling stuff, but we all have to face it.  Here's just a thought while we head into the weekend...

 

What's more important: love or success?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. In trying to balance your life, what is more important to you... love or success?

Taylor Swift gave a really insightful answer in a recent interview:

"I think that the idea of finding another person to share your life with is the most fascinating, beautiful quest you could ever be on in life. And yes, living your dreams is so important too, and a lot of times I've put that before everything else. But then you get to a place where the whole time you're living these dreams, you look beside you to say to someone, "Hey, isn't this so much fun?!" And if there's no one there to say it to, what's the point?"

A simple way to think about that.  At the end of the day, after you've accomplished all your dreams, goals, and ambitions.. Would you want someone to share in that with you?

be thankful!

 

Wanna know a little secret that will change your entire life?  Be thankful. Seriously!  It'll give you a glowing smile, radiant skin, a joyful heart, and the right perspective.. PS: these are all good things in the dating world! ;)

 Instead of always making to-do lists, make a list of five different things that you're thankful for right this second!

Here's my list for today: 

• Hazelnut coffee creamer 
• This incredibly beautiful, bright red tree right by our office.  It almost looks like it's caught on fire.  It's the perfect fall tree. 
• All the winter treats we get to start eating/I've already been eating.. Pumpkin pie... S'mores... Cookies..
• My great co-workers. We always have fun here in the office! 
• The fact there are only 45 days til Christmas! 

What's your list?  What are you thankful for?  

Freaking out!

Do you freak out too easily?  Make mountains out of a molehill?

Sometimes we all need a little reality check.

 Life is stressful... We all have work deadlines, family obligations, friends to see, laundry to fold, you name it.  But bringing unnecessarily stress into your relationship is no good!  This weekend spend some time reflecting on whether or not you bring stress to you and your partner's relationship.  Worrying about small things (it took him 45 minutes to respond to my text, he hasn't made dinner plans for us yet, he never wants to watch that overly girly romantic movie with me...) is just going to be an unnecessary strain!  Life is difficult- use your relationship to build each other up! Don't tare down one another over things that just aren't that important.

 

Are you too busy?

In today's world, it can be really easy to get bogged down with work meetings, family appointments, working out, taking care of the dogs, your house, etc. How are you supposed to fit anything in?  This can be some tough news for some of you guys, but you may just be too busy to date.  One of our favorite clients here at 1 on 1 Matchmaking came in to talk to us today because he found a great girl! She's funny, intelligent, adventurous... all the things he's been looking for but there's a final deal breaker: she's just TOO BUSY!  She can't schedule another date with him for more than two weeks. It doesn't make her any less great than she is.. it just means that she's too busy to invest in a relationship in her life.  Our great bachelor is choosing to look ahead-- for someone else who has all those great things AND the ability to invest in someone romantically.

Schedules do change.  Some months will be busier than others, and that's okay!  If you find that you don't have the time right now, just make sure that you are proactive in finding time when your schedule calms down.



Just some things to consider:

Are you setting unrealistic expectations on yourself and your schedule to date?

If you were to be completely honest with yourself, do you actually have the time right now to build a relationship?

Happy Friday!

The weather feels great and there is definitely love in the air.  If you're planning your wedding and need some money saving tips- read here!



It's 20 Dazzling Real Weddings for $8,000 and Under! I really like the idea of a smaller wedding and then throwing a large reception later.  Read about some other great ideas on keeping the costs low! My favorite include romantic, mountain getaways and a spectacular elopement!

Apathy

One of our matchmakers, Jennifer, recently attended a dating seminar hosted by Dr. Janet Page- a very well-respected relationship therapist in Atlanta who spoke about the dangers of apathy.

Apathy: a state of indifference; suppression of feelings of excitement, passion, and motivation.

In your personal life, apathy may look like this:  you want to lose weight, stick to a diet plan for two weeks and then fall of the regiment. Or you are serious about getting your financials in check this week, but as soon as that sale hits you've forgotten about your budget.  If you're 100% committed, your lifestyle will resemble that... Your priorities, daily schedule, and life will resemble what you care about.

But what does apathy look like in your dating life?  You're where you want to be in your professional life, but fail to set aside time to actually invest in a relationship or dating service. You want to be married, but never go about doing anything to see this happen.  Maybe some of you guys hide behind the convenient work excuse, saying you're just too busy to date right now.

Caring for people is tough.  It's heavy stuff.  At some points, you may face rejection and it will suck.  But, Jennifer leaves this thought with us, "As someone who has done it ( I literally went on more than 100 dates).  I promise you it's worth it when you find it.  I am not lonely.  I have found my partner in life, someone that cares about me, as much as I do myself, someone to help me strive to be better, to keep myself in check, someone to tackle financial burdens with, someone to, God willing, raise a family with. Life is better with a partner.  It keeps you from just going through the motions. It helps you focus on the things that truly matter.  Having a partner, helps you be less apathetic in general, because you have someone to check in with, someone to go through it with you."

So, if you're reading this and finding that you're identifying with a little bit more of the message than you've hoped- reflect this week. Are you truly open to finding a partner?  In what ways could you be keeping yourself from real love?

Getting engaged!

With the changing seasons comes engagement season! I love a great proposal story... This one is from www.howheasked.com and it follows Megan and Jonh's special day.



Read his thoughtful proposal here! He even made sure she was able to get her nails done beforehand!

Bad date

After our 1 on 1 clients go out on a date, they are asked to fill out a feedback form. Basic questions: how long was the date? Was there chemistry?

Well, we received this feedback from Tracy after her date with Trey.  Read what she had to say about her date with him! (Of course, the names have been changed!)

"Trey seemed like a nice guy who asked a lot of questions... He did all the rights things: letting me taste the wine, asking my thoughts on the menu, holding the door, etc.  However, it’s hard to take him seriously when he spent so much of the time talking about the other people he’s dated.  Bad first dates, crazy online dating run-ins, and flying a girl internationally on a first date.  By him sharing all this, it was really difficult for me to tell if Trey was really serious about dating, but more than that- it really made me fearful of what he would have to say about me! He had a good sense of humor, but he kinda of ruined it when he wouldn’t stop making fun of the people in the restaurant (the manager, other guests, people walking by). Whether or not he does this because he’s insecure or pretentious, it’s hard to say. He asked a lot of questions about my hobbies and interests, but next to nothing to say when I asked him. It’s a little awkward to be pressured to talk so much about myself and then get nothing back about the guy! None of that it so say it wasn’t a nice or fun date, it just means it’s a little harder to read his intentions and to consider him as someone I’d seriously date."

No one wants to date someone who is that critical on a first date! Leave the bad date stories at home. Sharing crazy dating stories can bring up a lot more questions about you than you may realize.  Is she attracted to crazy?  Does she only like this type of man?  Am I too fillintheblank for her?  You first dates should be about getting to know the other person sincerely.  Maybe once you've established some type of connection you can bring up some horror stories but the for meantime, keep it shut! 

Forgiveness

Being able to forgive is not only a crucial part of any marriage- but necessary for all aspects of life.  The ability to move forward and to let go of past mistakes is something we all need for a happy life.  Although trials shape us into the person we're supposed to be-- holding on to arguments, disagreements, and petty misunderstandings can waste your valuable time and energy. Forgiveness can keep you healthy emotionally and physically.

Each situation is unique- It may take you some time to be able to forgive, or it may not.  Here are some things to consider if you're trying to forgive:

-If this person is close to you, be open minded.  More often than not, it was not their intention to hurt you. You may not fully understand their reasoning behind it all, but if they seem genuine: be receptive. Everyone has a different approach to apologizing and it may not be the exact way you envisioned it.  It's okay. Be open to the fact that they're apologizing.

-Be kind. Though this person may have seriously wronged you, do not use this time to list all their wrongs. It may be necessary for you to explain the way in which you were hurt, but be weary of throwing in every little mistake.

-This is not the time to seek revenge or retribution. Just because you're forgiving them, doesn't mean you're condoning their behavior. What's the best revenge?  Living a successful and happy life.

-Balance trust with wisdom. Not all people should be trusted.. If someone keeps betraying your trust, then they're probably not someone worthy of your trust. Use your wisdom in order to not repeat these things in the future.

-Lastly when the time comes, think about other things and move on. Which means: Stop talking about it. I've had plenty of friends who retell, retell, and retell the same story. I've even been this person.  Every time that you/they finish the conversation, it's always with "I'm just so over it." Then another 15 minutes of talking.  Cut it out! Stop talking about it and it'll help you move forward, which is ultimately what you want.

For me, I had to learn how to forgive- truly letting go of the past.  Everyone makes mistakes.  She may have messed up this time... He may have forgot about dinner plans.. Next week, it could be you apologizing.  Stand up for yourself, but know which situations are worth your time and effort and which ones are not.

Can I Make Him Want More Than Friends with Benefits?

The quick answer: no, probably not.

Guys crave human touch and companionship just as much as women.  Some guys tough it out, drink beers with their friends, watch the football game and get over it.  Others reach out, determined to be the first guy with a functional Friends With Benefits relationship.

Most of us have either found ourselves in this situation or have had good friends in this boat.  A great guy- funny, smart, and entertaining- starts showing interest in you, and you in him.  Either he is upfront about his non-committal status or shys away from any notion of a relationship. Read: BUYER BEWARE! Guys are pretty aware of whether or not they are looking for a girlfriend or serious relationship.  If you jump into this FWB relationship, be aware that this is most likely not going anywhere.  Now, there are outliers to every situation, but ladies- guard yourself!  If you know you'll itch for something more.....keep walking! Don't sign up for feelings of insufficiency or sadness.

Most people can't interact on that special level and separate that from romantic feelings (by the way, this is normal). The most important thing with FWB is knowing yourself. If a guy says he's not interested in a future, he's not interested.  Knowing this, if FWB is still something you're into-- just make sure you pick the right guy!

Making The Right Choice

There are seasons of love and seasons of drought, when that love can run dry.

Lately, a lot of couples around me have been breaking up.  Breaking up is hard.  It's an awkward process...and just one day can send you through a multitude of emotions, both good a bad.  Losing that significant other can disrupt your normal flow of life more than you may imagine... change of future plans, an empty bed, only getting a half gallon of milk, computer background change, etc.  Little things can become difficult or strange. We all know the difficulty of a breakup... a broken heart takes time.  I recently read a scientific study focusing on the aftermath of a breakup.  These scientists took 'pictures' of the brains activity post-rupture and found that the process your brain goes through is nearly identical to those going through a drug withdrawal.  Crazy, huh?  No wonder the hurt can feel so real!

However, my point in all of this is to urge you to trust in a plan.  Maybe you had a terrible relationship, something that you needed to move on from because it was holding you back.  Or maybe you guys had a mostly good relationship, fun times, great trips, and good conversations.Whatever the situation, spend some time reflecting on this:

-What is it that YOU want?  This is your time. For some, that may mean taking that big trip by yourself or with friends. It could mean taking that job offer in another state.  For others, that may mean reconnecting with the friends you left to the wayside when your significant other was around.  It can be different for each person, but overall the object is the same.  Free from the input of others, who do you want to be? It will be easier to find someone to add to your life when you are becoming exactly the person you want to be.

-There's good love and there's great love.  Your relationship may have been anywhere from decent to largely a great one.  But think of is... If a lasting relationship/marriage takes, let's say, 10 different components to succeed (communication, attraction, commonality  humor.. .whichever ones you think are important).  You and your partner may have had 7 of them or 8 or even 9... but you didn't have that 10th thing.  That last element that makes it right.  It doesn't make the other areas any less true.. maybe you really were the best of friends or a pretty good match.. but it doesn't make it THE GREAT LOVE.  It's a counterfeit, a learning lesson.  It looks, feels, seems like the end all be all love, but at the end, there's one small detail that can throw the whole relationship off balance. But this should be somewhat comforting for those newly single.  Though you're in pain now and the healing process is slow, you will find that 10/10 relationship.  And now you're even wiser for when it does come around... You'll be more equipped to make it work, to hold onto it, and to cherish it.

The heart is the slowest to heal.  It will take time, and that's okay.  You shouldn't rush the process...Let yourself feel how you feel.  Express it and reach out to friends and family.  Rushing can only send you into another relationship but now with more baggage.  Take care of yourself because you're important.  Spend the time it takes because you need to, not because you necessarily want to. Because love will come again and you want to be ready.

 

 

First Date Attire

Getting ready for a first date can be nerve-wrecking!  Trying to put together that perfect outfit can be a challenge. We asked Atlanta based image consultants, Carmen Westbrook with Naked – Fashion Help and Victor Rogers with Victorious, Inc., to answer a few questions about what to (and not to) wear on a first date.  Here’s what they had to say:

Q: What is the biggest mistake one can make when dressing for a first date?  

Answer: The biggest mistakes are 1. trying too hard (examples: a woman showing too much skin, or a man drenched in cologne) and 2. not trying at all (examples: a woman who doesn’t do anything to her hair and makeup, or a man who shows up in wrinkled or soiled clothes).

Q: What three pieces should every woman have in her dating wardrobe? 

Answer: a dress that fits her perfectly and doesn’t look like a ‘work dress,’ dark jeans with little or no embellishment (i.e. no rhinestones, glitter, rips, etc.) and a great pair of heels.

Q: What three pieces should every man have in his dating wardrobe?

Answer: a nice sport coat (not just the jacket from a suit), dark jeans and a nice pair of black leather shoes (not the wingtips you wear to work).

Q: One of our members is meeting her date directly after work, any tips on how to transition from office-wear to date-night attire? 

Answer: If you’re wearing a two-piece business suit, remove the suit jacket. You can either replace it with a casual jacket that is a bit edgy or with a boldly colored cardigan. Change your shoes from conservative pumps to something a bit sexier… perhaps a strappy sandal, platform heels or even leopard print pumps. Change your handbag from the industrial-sized purse you carry every day to a sleek clutch. Switch your jewelry to a bolder necklace and maybe add a chunky bracelet or several thin bangles. You can keep these items in your car.

Q: Is it a good idea to have one go-to “first-date” outfit?

Answer: What you wear should be determined by where you are going. With any luck, every ‘first-date’ will be different, so you won’t have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ outfit that works for every occasion.

Q: What if you’re not sure where he’s taking you—how should you dress?

Answer: It is better to lean toward being a bit ‘over-dressed’ instead of ‘under-dressed.’ Maybe try a casual (non-work) dress with sexy boots and accessories, something that will fit in anywhere.

Q: What fall trends should our members consider for their dating wardrobe?

Answer: On a first date, you should strive to be the ‘best possible version of yourself.’ Therefore, if you normally are not one to follow fashion trends, do not start now!  The most important thing is to choose an outfit that makes you feel good and then you’re guaranteed to present your best possible self.

At the end of the day, the best thing you can do is to feel confident!  How you carry yourself is the greatest accessory to any outfit.  Be engaging, fun, and positive and everything else will fall into place.

The Bert Show's Suggestions

On the way to work this morning, I was listening to the Bert Show's segment about keeping a relationship happy one.  It can be easy to loose sight of the important things once a relationship becomes routine. Bert offeres 15 Secrets to Happy Couples, focusing on letting the little things go and keeping the special connection.

Read Bert's Secrets HERE!

 

Bored Dating!?

Are you OVER dating?  Lately, a few clients have mentioned that they are just feeling down and out about dating in general.  Sometimes you can wear yourself out by dating too much, cramming dates into an already hectic schedule, or just going on bad date after bad date!

I came across this posting about how to bring the FUN back into dating and thought I would share it with you!                  READ IT HERE!

Online Dating Uncertainty

Being Matchmakers, we support all kinds of dating tools that will get you out there meeting people. We even support online dating, however it does have its drawbacks.



Everyone always has that twinge of doubt or worry that the person they "hit it off" with via an online site is not who they say they are.  Are they really single? You would be surprised the number of people that tell us that "found someone" online but later found out that the person was a jackass married, going thru divorce, or was in a relationship of some sorts! WTH?!

This is a huge turn off - not just to the lying party but also to online dating! I came across this site that addresses this issue!

Zidelity- the website screens out any individuals registered on dating sites who are already in relationships! WHAT!!!!?   It is like a safe "zone"  for the two interested parties to build trust.  As a user, you can control how much privacy  you want. If you are signed up, you cannot change your relationship status or other important information without the other knowing about it. The only issue is that both parties have to be registered.

So, in summary, if you hit it off with someone via internet dating, ask them to sign up on Zidelity with you (it is free).  If they don't have anything to hide, the should have NO PROBLEM doing this- Right?!

Click HERE to learn more about Zidelity!

Talking Points

Before going on a date, there's always a checklist of things to have done: nails, hair, outfit, etc. When it comes to the topics of conversation, I've always been a little nervous of the right moves. I'm really outgoing... but that can backfire. Am I oversharing? Do I seem interesting? Should I be more quiet? But, I've found a couple things that can help ease anxiety before an exciting date!

-First: relax, you've done this your whole life.

Meeting new people has been something you've done your whole life. Classmates, professors, employers, friends... They are all people whom, over time, you've developed relationships with. Just because it's a date doesn't mean that it has to be something scarier than just meeting someone new!

-Don't lay it all out on the table.

For people like me, it can be tempting to feel like oversharing... He talks about something interesting and you have a great story that ties along perfectly. If it's something really worth mentioning-- sure, go ahead... but if it feels like you're just trying to find something to say to fill in the space, resist! It's natural to have lulls in conversation during a date.... fight to urge to ramble.

-Just because he asks, doesn't mean he needs to know it all.

So, he asks why you haven't been taken already or why you're still single... that doesn't mean to give your life story. Keep private things private.. It should be a privilege to get to know you better; there's something to be said about getting to know someone slowly!

But, if you know your nerves are going to be through the roof- try to squeeze in a great workout beforehand, it  can calm your mind and your nerves. Above all, try to have fun!  If you're having a good time, it'll be sure to show through.

 

Good luck!

To send or not to send...

With all the technology we have at our fingertips, it’s no question that “bedroom material” has made it’s way out of the bedroom and has found itself right in those gadgets we love so much.  This convenience is great for hard-working, professional couples but can really land you in hot water if you’re not careful.

A friend of mine.... let’s call her Leah, had been in the middle of a steamy texting conversation with a guy she was casually seeing. When she put the brakes on the relationship a couple days later, it only took a few clicks for him to send out some of those racy pics to 200 of his closest friends.  By the end of the day, most of Leah’s friends had seen.. most of Leah.  Rough lesson. So, before you decide to send out that R-rated text, remember these guidelines:

-Don’t sext what you wouldn’t say in person! 

It can be easy to be bold behind that touchscreen, but be weary! If you wouldn’t say it out loud, you probably shouldn’t text it. When in doubt, DO NOT SEND!

-Don’t sext if you haven’t... sexed. 

Talking a big game before the big game can go wrong in a lot of ways: wrecking your nerves, ruining that first time, and potentially ending something that could’ve worked.  Avoid, avoid, avoid.

-Be weary of pictures

Like my poor friend Leah, who knows what each person did after they received THAT pic.  Pictures can be uploaded to the internet so quickly it’ll make your head spin and once it’s there, it can be impossible to completely remove it.  Trusting someone you don’t totally know with pictures of you in your birthday suit can really end up hurting you emotionally, professionally, and mentally.  Don’t set yourself up for heartbreak!

Above all else, guard yourself and be smart!  Once you’re in a committed relationship, texting can be a great tool for those long business trips or to spice up the day, but if you don’t feel 100% about pressing send... don’t do it.

How can you get past "Friends with Benefits"

(Check out our more recent, useful post about this >>here .)

Friends with benefits - harmless, right?  I don't know of one time this situtaion has ended in peace.  I would say 99.9% of the time someone gets hurt.

It is hard to have this "fun/close" relationship with someone and not eventually want more...or get jealous when they start seeing someone else seriously.

I came across this article and thought it was a great answer to this girls question of  "how do I make him want more than friends with benefits".

Read about it HERE!  ENJOY and Happy Friday!

Break-up Playlist

Lets face it, sometimes getting over a break-up can take a while.  Months or weeks go by of moping around in dirty pajama's, drowning yourself in ice cream & chocolate, and not showering.

Sometimes life don't give us the luxury of taking our time to morn the loss of the lost love and you just gotta pull yourself together.  Or maybe, you just wanna be OVER IT!

Here is an article with the top break-up songs.  Download a few of these and get OVER IT!

When is the right time??

Have you ever found yourself in a new relationship wondering when is the right time to do the deed?

Sometimes waiting too long can make the other feel unsure of where you stand or put you guys in the friend zone.  However, sometimes having sex too soon complicates things resulting in a break-up.  Uft, as if you need more pressure on the relationship plate !

So...how do you get the timing right?!   I personally feel that this is a touchy subject and honestly I think the real answer is based on you as an individual.  I did come across this article and thought I would share it with you guys.

Read it HERE!

Boyfriends of Honor

We have such a fun job helping people find love, however our hearts are heavy this week due to the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims along with their  friends and families.

Earlier today I read that 3 of the men were killed while shielding their girlfriends.  True men of Courage!

So for those of you who still question if there are good men out there...Yes! Hopefully you will find someone who is willing to protect you.  Lets just hope it is never to this instances extreme.

Destructive Relationship?!

We all know someone who is or has been in a terribly unhealthy relationship! I came across this blog posting that touches on this subject and it really stuck a cord with me.

For the past 5+ years I have watched someone very close to me stay in a relationships that has progressively gotten worse and worse with time, however they both refuse to just end it.  It is pretty much at a point of insanity  co-dependence.  This relationship is so bad that effects everyone around them to the point that no one ever wants to hang out with them.  Too much drama.  The situation is really starting to become a dangerous one and honestly I don't know if they will ever wake up and realize that they would be SO MUCH better off without one another!

Read the Blog HERE .  It has great tips on how or why you should GET THE F. OUT! Read it for yourself or forward to  a friend that might need to guidance, motivation, and support.

Stalk Much?!

It is no secret that with the Internet today you can ‘Google’ just about anything that you want to. You can find out how much your neighbor paid for their home, the criminal background of just about anyone and even your co-workers salary. Just because the Internet and ‘Google’ make it easy to cyber stalk does NOT mean you should do it.

Before a first date, do not Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn, Google or WHATEVER-stalk your potential match. If you have been set up through a reputable friend, or reputable company like 1 on 1 Matchmaking or the 8 at 8 Dinner Club, then you have nothing to worry about. If you read all about your future date online, it will make conversations strained between the two of you and the first date less fun. Snooping around the Internet may also cause you to make snap judgments about someone before you have even met.

Not to mention, what if you slip up on the date. How awkward would it be if you were having a pleasant conversation and you let on that you already knew information that he hadn’t told you at dinner? That is one extremely quick way to make your date think you’re a psycho creeper.

Just relax. It is a first date. If there isn’t a connection or chemistry and you don’t want to go out with them ever again, good news; you don’t have to! Don’t be scared of dating. You have to put yourself out there to get the results that you are looking for. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Are you ready for a relationship?

Are you really ready for a relationship!? For some, this isn't even a question but for others it might be something to think about.

Are you the serial dater that keeps dating a new person every few months?  Why does it never work out?

COULD IT BE YOU!?

Eventually you need to stop blaming the others and take a look at yup, yourself!  I think the first question that should come to mind is:  Am I ready to be a in relationship?

CLICK HERE to Take this fun quiz to find out!

 

Stop setting your standards on looks only!!!

Do you find yourself asking, where are all the good guys? They are there right in front of you just like they've always been. You just can't see them, because your too busy focusing on "looks" as your first standard.

I've heard all the typical stories and maybe it's happened to you. So many times family/friends want to set you up with someone on a blind date. The next thing you know, you're on the date eagerly glancing up at them walking through the door. Now you're thinking "OH NO'' he's not my "type" and thinking of every excuse to bolt. Dread creeps over you like an ugly rash. You even contemplate escaping through the bathroom window until you come to your senses. Now now, not so fast, you should take a deep breath, stay clam and just enjoy the evening for your own sake.  Also, believe it or not this person might be the ONE!

What? You say.  Don't get me wrong. I do believe in the attraction, but that's not what you should look at first. Give that person a chance, maybe the first date you didn't get those wonderful butterflies. But if, you could just potentially like at least one thing in that person and maybe give a second date a try, a pleasant surprise could be around the corner. Another quality you like about them will appear and next thing you know, you are falling in love with this amazing person that you have taken the time to get to know.

You may not believe it but one of the best ways to find a compatible partner is through your family and friends. You see, your family and friends know you sometimes better than you think they do. They are looking for certain traits and characteristics in that person who would be perfect for you based on knowing you and your life style.  "Looks" may not be a high critera. They believe that the person they set you up with will possibly be the missing link to your well being and happiness.

Not all men have movie star looks. But, they are sexy in their own right. These guys happen to be the some of the sweetest, smartest,  most successful men around. They make the best husbands and fathers. They  simply want to love you, spoil you and take care of you. What more can a girl ask for?

Next time you get set up on a blind date be open minded, Do yourself a favor and give it a decent whirl. And remember ladies, sometimes that frog might just turn out to be your Prince after all .......

TO: Single Pet Lovers

ATTENTION PET PEOPLE: Question: What is a quick way to scare off a potential date?

Answer: Acting like a crazy cat/dog person on an initial date.

Trust me, I love animals just as much as the next girl; my pets are part of the family! BUT, your potential date wants to get to know you on the first date. They do not want to spend two hours listening to the hilarious things that Fluffy did this morning or looking at endless cat pictures on your cell phone.

By all means, if your date asks about your pets, tell him a little about them. That’s a totally normal topic to come up on a first date and your pets are definitely a part of your life.  All I ask is that you don’t go on and on obsessing over them, even if you might want to.

Just remember that the point of dating is to find someone you want to spend your life with. That person has to be your number one...eventually: Yes, even before the cats and dogs. You don’t want a potential partner to write you off because they think that you love your animals more than you could ever love another human being.

Let your date get to know you and start to fall for you first.  Then after that, then you can unveil the crazy animal person that you are. Just kidding... Kind of.

Love at First Sight?!

Plenty of people believe in “love at first sight” but statistically this little theory’s success rate is extremely low. There are dozens of other important factors that make up a relationship and initial attraction falls very low on the totem pole.  Sure, a relationship that is based off of a snap judgment and an initial attraction may work out for a while, but long term it is likely to be lacking what is really important.

For two people to be compatible and to be able to make a relationship last they must agree on the “big things” and want the same things out of life. Do you both want to have children/family? Do you both handle your money the same? Are you supportive of each other’s goals? How do you treat each other? These questions all need to be answered among several others when you are considering a future with someone.

Remember, looks fade but personality, morals and character last forever. Of course, for a relationship to work there must be an attraction to the other person; all I am saying is that it is not what is MOST important. Sometimes, people will grow on you the more you get to know them and suddenly you’ll find yourself even more attracted to them than ever!

Airbrushed Photo?

For those who have done online dating or are currently participating in on online dating, the questions comes up - do you doctor your picture or not.

Better yet, if you have found someone attractive and wanted to reach out to them via online dating, did you think "Do they really look that their picture?"

Working in the dating world, we hear A LOT of stories about people having met someone finally in person and that person looking older, heavier NOT looking anything like their current profile picture.  It is so disappointing and...deceiving!

To make online dating even harder, there is now an app called  that will allow you to airbrush your photos and it only cost .99 cents!

HERE is an article all about it!

Summer Love - Easy Date Ideas

Summer is upon us!  The good news is that during summer, dates can be low cost and active due to the scorching heat warm weather!  Here are some fun, low cost, out of the box ideas for a nice summer date!

1. Picnic at the park:  This one is easy! Nothing like a bottle of wine, cheese, and some mini sandwiches devoured on a blanket - oh so romantic!

2. Night Grilling in the back yard:  instead of going to a loud stuffy restaurant just throw some meat and veggies on the grill.  It is heathy, something that you two can do together, and delicious!

3. Kite Flying: seriously everyone forgets how fun this is!  Go get a cheap kite and help each other try to fly it.  So sweet.

4. Bike riding: if you two don't have bikes, in most cities you can rent bikes.  Jump on the bikes and just ride throughout the city together.  You will both enjoy seeing the city from a different perspective...and burn some calories.

5. A day at the Zoo: I know you have probably seen the animals a million times but it will never get old.  Take the day, pack some snacks, and walk around the zoo together.

6. Flea Market & Yard Sale shopping: look in the paper & on craigslist for upcoming yard sales.  Plan out your stops and go together to see what "treasures" people are getting rid of.

7. Putt Putt Golf: this one is always frustrating fun! ...and a great way to see just how patient your date its! Oh...and we all know that everyone likes to imagine little people living in these cute replicaes of mini villages.

Just remember that anything can be a "date".  Just make it light & fun - since that is really what dating is all about - FUN!

HAPPY SUMMER!

5 Love Languages

As matchmakers, we are always reading up on new things dealing with love so we can better help our clients.  One of the best books that we encourage everyone to read is "The Five Love Languages".  This book is for everyone - whether single or married.  It  clarifies your way of expressing and interpreting love.

Do you know your love language?  You should!  Click HERE to take the quiz.

Men - Take the Lead!

I have men contact me or write in every week telling me they didn't know how to end the date or ask for a 2nd date.

Men, we have got to talk about this!!!!

It's killing me and 95% of the women out there. In today's world, where women take the lead in their work life, the one place they don't want to take the lead is in their personal life.  If the woman is even remotely type A she will be very turned off that you didn't take the lead in this area.

 

Despite what you see professionally, women still want to be romanced!  They want to feel like if they are being taken OUT, especially in the beginning stages, its the one place they can feel sexy, feminine, and girly.  They just want to think about looking pretty, being sweet and having fun.  It's still your job to court her.  Women have never stopped wanting you to do this, I promise.

Take the lead.  If you know you want to see her again, just asking directly for a 2nd date while you are on the first date.  Yes, you are going to get rejected.  That's part of life.

I read an article recently, where people married people were polled.   20% of women said, they didn't even like their husband when they first met him.  I bet they hadn't made up their mind about him after a first date. But, clearly, the men pursued these women and won them over.

I can guarantee it started with making the woman feel special, feel pursued, feel important.  Taking the lead in itself can be the game changer.

So, in short.  Ask her out for a first date while on a 2nd date. Plan something fun. Call her to follow up within 2 days to iron out the details.  Make her feel like she can relax with you in charge.  She can be the "lady" and just have fun.  Starting out on the right foot can make a world of difference.

Being Stood Up is the WORST!

To really do dating the right way, you have to be open-minded, courteous, honest and have a positive attitude.  Going into the chaotic world of dating with a judgmental and negative attitude will get you nowhere. You may as well just save yourself the time, effort and money and stay at home.

Snap judgments are the absolute worst. Don’t accept a date with someone, if you know there is a deal-beaker. Accepting a date and then being a no show is extremely rude and disrespectful to the other person. Who cares if they aren’t your perfect match. He or she is a human being and they deserve the same respect that you do.

Maybe you have personally been stood up before, or done it to someone else, but there is no excuse for it. Everyone’s time is valuable so do the courteous thing and let him or her know that you can’t make the date.  It’s that easy.

Making up your mind about a person before you ever go on a date is a huge mistake as well. You may close doors on a great person because of a judgment that you made on their outfit or be overly excited about a person you have nothing in common with because you think they are attractive. Yes, looks matter but finding love goes so much deeper than that.

Finally, never lie to your date. You never know where the relationship will go or who you two have in common. Like the saying goes, honesty is the best policy.

Finding Balance in a Relationship

In the dating world, everyone knows that some people “date out of their league.” And no, I am not talking about looks; I am talking about personality, interests and hobbies as well.

You want to attract a partner who loves to workout, hike and spend time at the beach? Get off your butt and go do those things! Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.

So many times the characteristics and traits that people want in a partner are polar opposite of the way that they actually are themselves. Guys with no fashion sense want a trendy and fashionable girl. Girls who love to watch movies on the couch want a sporty, athletic guy. It doesn’t really work that way. A relationship with someone that you have nothing in common with will never work out.

Now, I am by no means saying that a couple has to have identical interests and hobbies, but there has to be some overlap. To have a successful relationship you have to share a few similar interests. Maybe you like to jog together, or maybe you both love to cook new things. Save the different interests for your time apart. Let him play golf, poker, and lift weights when he is with the guys and he will let you watch rom-coms, get your nails done, and gossip with the girls.

There is a perfect balance of time together and time with your friends that you should strive for. Once you find out what works for you and your relationship; it’s guaranteed to be a happy one.

A happy girl is a pretty girl!

Have you ever heard the phrase: "A happy girl is a pretty girl"?  We think this rule applies to dating - and to both men and women!  The happy people seem the most approachable, the most fun to be around, and bring the joy to the party of life.  Increase your odds of scoring a date with the cutie across the room - or of having the hot girl walk over and hand you her number - by acting like, and actually BEING - the happiest person in the place!

I have observed 6 things that the happy people are doing differently than the "unhappy" set.  Practice these habits, and soon being happy will truly be second nature to you!

1. Exercise.  It is true that exercise increases endorphins, which then of course elevates your mood.  People who exercise regularly also feel better about themselves both inside and out, so do your future love life a favor -- and hit the gym!

2. Have goals.  People who have something to look forward to and to strive for tend to come across as more satisfied.  Not to mention, it is definitely attractive to talk to someone who is ambitious!

3. Forgive people.  Those who harbor resentment and anger over past hurts or wrong doings are only hurting themselves.  Don't you think the person who hurt you has forgotten about it?  Probably.  So - so should you.  Put a smile on your face and move on.  Soon, that hurt will ACTUALLY BE a distant memory!

4. Be social!  This keeps your perspectives fresh, and your energy level up.  Don't be a couch potato; get out there, socialize, and meet new people!

5. Be thankful.  Grateful people come across as the most satisfied - so always practice gratitude.  Not to mention - who wants to date someone who is rude to the waiter, or snappy to the valet?  Treat everyone graciously, and it will be noticed by the people around you.

6. Last but not least - Don't sweat the small stuff.  This sounds cliche, but seriously.  No one wants to be around the person who is ALWAYS stressing about SOMETHING that is actually insignificant to everyone around them.  It is hard to enjoy the true joys of life when you are too consumed with the tiny ding on your bumper, or the fact that you gained 2 pounds.  Move on, stop obsessing, and don't sweat it.  People who go with the flow are much more attractive - be one of them!

Ask us about our national date coaching program-  888-897-8285, coaching@1on1matchmaking.com.

Until next time,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Good Things Don’t Come Easy! No Really… They Don’t!

People say to me all the time, "Don't you feel so lucky to have met your husband?"  This got me thinking. On one hand, yes, I do feel lucky to have met my partner. On the other, I knew what I wanted and I went after it, therefore I feel like I deserve it. Just like a sales call, I knew what I wanted the final outcome to be. I knew that finding a great husband and future father of my children were the most important things to me. Finding love and happiness was definitely worth the risk of failure.

It’s pretty simple.

You want it. You strive for it. You try even harder. You don’t quit.

I met my husband on the 2^nd round of joining a dating service, and on the 9^th date. I had been on dozens of bad dates prior. I had a date show up drunk, I had to walk home from dinner one night because my date got a DUI with me in the car; trust me I have done my time. I treated the bad dates as funny stories to tell my girlfriends over cocktails and didn’t let them upset me. Quitting my search for Mr. Right was never an option. For me, dating was a fun journey and an adventure.

As a matchmaker, the biggest frustration in the business is when people give up or simply do nothing. Stop whining to your friends and family if you are not ready to put your money where your mouth is. If you go on a bad date or Eight at Eight dinner where there was not a connection, don't give up. Dating is a process and everyone you meet along the way will help you learn more about yourself and what you are looking for.

Dating CAN be fun; you just have to make an effort to look at it that way. Think about exercise. I hate running, but guess what? It’s something I have to do to keep my booty in check. I run with friends, download new music, change locations and do whatever I have to do to keep it fresh, new and fun. Dating is no different. You have to keep it fresh, new and fun.

So don't give up on dating! Stay positive and remember to give your matchmaker both written and verbal feedback so that they can help you stay on track to finding your perfect match. We always feel like we won the World Series here in the office when someone ends up in a relationship. Believe me, we want it just as much as you do!

Online Dating Tips

 

Guys, listen up. Before you send a message to a new crush on your favorite online dating site, please take a few pieces of advice. What you say and how you say it are detramental to your online dating success. A few simple mistakes may ruin your chances with a potential date before she even meets you.

First things first. Don't be creepy. Women looking for relationships don't want a message full of "hey baby's" and pet name calling. They want to hear why you are interested in dating them. Talk about a mutual hobby or sports team, an aspiration in life or something you have in common. She wants to know why you think the two of you will hit it off. If you feel the strong urge to tell her she is beautiful, do so in a flattering way. There is a fine line between flattery and being flat out degrading.

Always be very respectful. When meeting a woman you want to date for the first time in person, would you gush over her hot bod, call her sexy or make inappropriate comments? No. Same applies to dating online. Don't make her feel cheap. Always give her the same respect that you would anyone else. Mentioning sex in an initial email is a quick way to turn her off to the idea of a date with you.

Finally, in online messages, genuinely get to know your potential date. If you are hitting it off, ask her on a real date. No "meeting up" in bars or inviting her to hang with the guys. A date. Just the two of you.

Now ladies, this isn't to say that you do everything right either. You have to follow the same rules as the guys, but shouldn't be too forward. Being pushy is un-ladylike and can push men away.

Just remember, always be yourself, be respectful and friendly, and of course, have fun!

Fabulous News from 8 @ 8 DC!

Everyone here at the 8 at 8 Dinner Club whole-heartedly believes that our fun-filled dinners are a great way to meet singles and form new relationships, but when we get emails like the one that we got this morning, it completely brightens our days!



We received an email from Mike  cancelling a dinner that he was signed up for in the next couple of weeks. The reason? He is now seriously dating another 8 at 8 member that he met at a prior dinner! When we responded to his email and asked him who the lucky lady is he simply responded, “Carrie. But I’m the lucky one.” Our hearts are melting!

Mike and Carrie are both now former members of the 8 at 8 Dinner Club. Of course we hate to see them go, but we are even more excited that they have found love! We want to send HUGE congratulations to Mike and Carrie on their new-found relationship and wish them the best of luck!

Dressing to the Nines (or Eights!) For Eight at Eight

Before a big date, do you find yourself scrambling at the last minute to put together the perfect outfit? Do you come home to a giant mound of wadded up clothes and shoes on your bedroom floor after the date? I have good news for you ladies: You aren’t alone! Meeting someone for the first time can be stressful. Of course you want to make the perfect first impression on your date, starting with your outfit.

First, look up the restaurant you are going to have dinner at on your date. The website, menu and pictures should all give you a great idea of how casual or dressy that particular restaurant is. As far as casual places go, remember it is always better to be over dressed than under dressed! Dressing appropriate for the atmosphere is key.

Next, you want your outfit to be memorable, but not for the wrong reasons! You don’t want your skirt to be too tight, your dress to be too short, or your top to be so low cut that your date can’t focus on what’s most important -- YOU! Remember the high-low rule: if you are wearing a short skirt or dress, the neckline should not be too revealing. If you are wearing a lower cut top, your choice for bottoms should not show too much leg. It’s simple!

Finally, don’t be afraid of color! So many women play it safe and wear black. Now don’t get me wrong, black is a fabulous color and can be very flattering.  But if you do decide to wear black, spice it up with some fun, colorful statement jewelry!

Most importantly, you need to feel good in what you wear. When you feel good, you look your best and your confidence will radiate! Knock ‘em dead!

Introducing Our Newest Addition

We are excited to introduce the newest addition to the Eight at Eight Dinner Club team: Our intern, Megan Whyte.  Megan is a recent graduate from the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!) with a degree in public relations and consumer economics. She is 22 years old and has just moved back to Atlanta from good ole’ Athens, Georgia. Here are the basics to help you get acquainted:

Name: Megan Whyte

Favorite Color: Teal

Favorite Food: Sushi

Favorite Movie: Titanic (Oldie but a Goodie!)

Favorite Actor: Jeffery Dean Morgan

Interesting Fact: Voted best dressed in high school

Tell us a secret: I don’t know my real hair color… SHHH!

Can’t live without: My mom!

Hobbies: Working out, Water Sports, Spending time with family & friends (including a sweet little Maltese named Macie) & Shopping

Is Your Man Cheap?!

Are you dating a penny pincher?!

Most of the time, men are more than happy to pay for dinners and drinks, but sometimes - or eventually - they want to split the bill or share the cost.  Does this make them "cheap"?!

We set up a first date the last week, and the feedback for the date was really interesting... "We had a great time.  He was attractive, interesting... we had a lot in common, and we talked all night!  However, when the bill arrived he looked at it and said “this is a pretty cheap dinner, how about you pay $15 bucks of it?”  Excuse me!?

The lady was so turned off by the thought that he was a cheapskate, that she never wanted to see him again.  All in all, it was a great date... until he asked her to put up a lousy $15.  So, I ask… Would you consider this cheap?!  Before jumping to a conclusion, and since the date was good… maybe give the guy the benefit of the doubt...?  But... what if it happens again?!  Does that put him in the super-cheap-o and un-date-able department?

This date feedback got me to thinking about what defines a cheap man… and then I came across this blog posting by Molly Hill on the Blog “The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide," - titled “What To Do If You’ve Fallen In Love With A Cheapskate.”

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

The Key is Finding Someone to Love!

I've got lots of clients that are picky. They are often dismissing the opportunity to meet quality introductions that I'm suggesting on a snap judgment. I was up the other night because I was worried about a particularly picky client and challenged by his lack of adventure when it comes to dating! I remembered a section of one of my all time favorite books - How to Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone to Love by Judith Stills, Ph.D.

This book is no longer in publication - if you buy it on Amazon you'll pay a premium. But it has lots of excellent advice for singles. I highly recommend it.

Here is an excerpt from the book that has helped me lately - hope it helps you too!

____________________________________

You walk into a party or a bar and in three minutes (more likely three seconds, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt) you've made a judgment: There's no one here who's my type. They're all jerks. You may even pride yourself on knowing your tastes and preferences so well that you seldom err in your first impressions of potential mates.

I would like to focus your attention on two points. First, if you are a person who takes pride in these lighting-quick judgments of others, I'll bet that you find your judgments are predominantly negative. People who allow themselves to make rapid judgments most often make negative ones because they're very safe. If you avoid someone because, in your opinion, he's a fool or she's flaky, how can you ever really be proved wrong? you can simply chalk it up to matters of taste, pride yourself on your selectiveness, and avoid that person so you never have an opportunity to discover if you're wrong.

Positive attitudes and positive judgments are riskier. They open you up to more people, more experiences, and the possibility of disappointment. Of course, they open you up to the possibility of more happiness as well, but many people cling hard to the better-safe-than-sorry stance.

Please forgive this lecture. It's just that it has sometimes been so frustrating to listen to genuinely lonely people who react critically to a potential partner because of the most trivial idiosyncrasies and based on the most premature of opinions. Most men and women report to me that they judge whether or not someone could ever be a potential partner at first glance. These same people would report that physical appearance is only one, and not the most important one, of many criteria for choosing a mate. Then why screen out so many potential candidates at first sight?

This is the most negative attitude of them all: the perspective that someone elsemust push all the right buttons and your response is entirely out of your control. Of course, anyone who is so helpless before his or her own negative attitudes has only one option - to wait for magic. The catch is, it can be a very long wait and the magic can be a very short ride.

End of lecture.

LLS Date Auction = Success

Last Thursday evening, Eight at Eight Dinner Club helped Cromwell Baun and Merrill Beckwith raise money for Cromwell’s campaign to raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

The idea was doing something fun to raise money… so the Date Auction was born!  Last year, the date auction was a hit and it raised $8,600, so we all decided to pitch in again this year!

Twenty-five contestants were auctioned off, along with their customized date packages, at Tongue and Groove in Buckhead.  It was an amazing time AND $18,700 was raised!!! That is more than double from last year, and it was a fabulous time with Atlanta’s hottest singles.

Thank you to all who came out to support the cause!

HERE is the link to the site if you would like more information

Break-Up Blues

Are you or someone you know going thru a hard break-up?!  Break up's are so painful!

Believe it or not, there are some things you can do to at least feel better quickly!  HERE is an article that has some tips to ease the break-up blues.

Qualities Men Are Looking For

9 things...

The girls in the office got back from a Matchmaker's Conference this past weekend (YES they have those!) and had handy a list of "9 things that most men seek in a woman" - or something along those lines.  Without further ado... and in no particular order... the list...

- feminine
- kind
- caring
- warm
- sexy
- nurturing
- playful
- positive
- easy to please/easy goingAre you on the market for a man!?  If so -- embody these traits as best you can!  NOT because you should change yourself to snag a dude, but because those are all traits we should try to possess anyways!  Who doesn't like a happy, upbeat, laid-back, flirty gal?And on second thought... what is YOUR list??  What 9 (or more!) things do YOU look for in a man?  What qualities are important to you?  Please share!

Guest Blogger and Employee: Reagan.

Check it her Blog out HERE, La Dolce Vita.  It is Rad :)

Singles & Tennis in NYC

Total Tennis and NYC Matchmaking are teaming up!!!

If you are into Tennis and Single this is the event to attend! Check it out!

Get Married this Year!

Dr. Janet Page - local relationship expert and author of the recently released,
GET MARRIED THIS YEAR - 365 Days to I Do will conduct a workshop to help singles,
“FIND THEIR PERFECT MATCH!"

Think falling in love and living happily ever after is a fantasy? Join Dr. Janet Page for some fun with the serious intent to make your dream a reality and help you have one of the best years of your life. This action- based workshop emphasizes heart and brain—an emotionally intelli- gent approach to finding your mate. Attitude really is everything. Where you go is important. But who you are when you go, and how you make use of opportunities is even more important.

Learn to avoid pitfalls, fight fear, put your best foot forward, know when to quit, and how to recognize a keeper. Isn't your future mate too impor- tant to leave to chance?

The workshop will be held on: Monday May 14, 2012
at Park Place on Peachtree, 2660 Peachtree Road NW, Atlanta, 30305
in the conference area from 6-8:00 p.m.
Cost to attend is $50
RSVP at 404-266-0527 / drjanetpage@bellsouth.net

Are YOU a good date?

When you are on a date, please try really hard not to be negative.  You should greet your dates like they are an old friend.  Give them a hug!  Look happy to see them.  Smile!  Expect to have a good time.  Ask them how their week has been; do they have any fun trips planned for the summer?  Be truly interested in their life. Everyone is interesting if you dig deep enough.

I feel like so many people, in general, judge their date as soon as they walk in the room.  I also believe people spend a lot of time mulling over what they think of their date, instead of worrying about what their DATES think about THEM.

The best daters have a good time no matter what!  Great daters view creating a good time as their responsibility, not their dates' job!

The best daters also make friends along the way!  The romance will happen naturally when it’s right, but  have fun no matter what.

Happy dating!!! :)

Guys, Take the Lead!

As a matchmaker we get all kinds of feedback! One of our most popular feedback is as such:

"The restaurant was loud and noisy and we had a hard time making conversation over the noise."

Come on, you are an adult right?  Please tell me you can handle such a simple problem by yourself.  Go to another restaurant, take the lead men. The girl you are with will be impressed that you knew how to take care of her,  and it will show your interest in getting to know her!