There are seasons of love and seasons of drought, when that love can run dry.
Lately, a lot of couples around me have been breaking up. Breaking up is hard. It's an awkward process...and just one day can send you through a multitude of emotions, both good a bad. Losing that significant other can disrupt your normal flow of life more than you may imagine... change of future plans, an empty bed, only getting a half gallon of milk, computer background change, etc. Little things can become difficult or strange. We all know the difficulty of a breakup... a broken heart takes time. I recently read a scientific study focusing on the aftermath of a breakup. These scientists took 'pictures' of the brains activity post-rupture and found that the process your brain goes through is nearly identical to those going through a drug withdrawal. Crazy, huh? No wonder the hurt can feel so real!
However, my point in all of this is to urge you to trust in a plan. Maybe you had a terrible relationship, something that you needed to move on from because it was holding you back. Or maybe you guys had a mostly good relationship, fun times, great trips, and good conversations.Whatever the situation, spend some time reflecting on this:
-What is it that YOU want? This is your time. For some, that may mean taking that big trip by yourself or with friends. It could mean taking that job offer in another state. For others, that may mean reconnecting with the friends you left to the wayside when your significant other was around. It can be different for each person, but overall the object is the same. Free from the input of others, who do you want to be? It will be easier to find someone to add to your life when you are becoming exactly the person you want to be.
-There's good love and there's great love. Your relationship may have been anywhere from decent to largely a great one. But think of is... If a lasting relationship/marriage takes, let's say, 10 different components to succeed (communication, attraction, commonality humor.. .whichever ones you think are important). You and your partner may have had 7 of them or 8 or even 9... but you didn't have that 10th thing. That last element that makes it right. It doesn't make the other areas any less true.. maybe you really were the best of friends or a pretty good match.. but it doesn't make it THE GREAT LOVE. It's a counterfeit, a learning lesson. It looks, feels, seems like the end all be all love, but at the end, there's one small detail that can throw the whole relationship off balance. But this should be somewhat comforting for those newly single. Though you're in pain now and the healing process is slow, you will find that 10/10 relationship. And now you're even wiser for when it does come around... You'll be more equipped to make it work, to hold onto it, and to cherish it.
The heart is the slowest to heal. It will take time, and that's okay. You shouldn't rush the process...Let yourself feel how you feel. Express it and reach out to friends and family. Rushing can only send you into another relationship but now with more baggage. Take care of yourself because you're important. Spend the time it takes because you need to, not because you necessarily want to. Because love will come again and you want to be ready.
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