Forgiveness

Being able to forgive is not only a crucial part of any marriage- but necessary for all aspects of life.  The ability to move forward and to let go of past mistakes is something we all need for a happy life.  Although trials shape us into the person we're supposed to be-- holding on to arguments, disagreements, and petty misunderstandings can waste your valuable time and energy. Forgiveness can keep you healthy emotionally and physically.

Each situation is unique- It may take you some time to be able to forgive, or it may not.  Here are some things to consider if you're trying to forgive:

-If this person is close to you, be open minded.  More often than not, it was not their intention to hurt you. You may not fully understand their reasoning behind it all, but if they seem genuine: be receptive. Everyone has a different approach to apologizing and it may not be the exact way you envisioned it.  It's okay. Be open to the fact that they're apologizing.

-Be kind. Though this person may have seriously wronged you, do not use this time to list all their wrongs. It may be necessary for you to explain the way in which you were hurt, but be weary of throwing in every little mistake.

-This is not the time to seek revenge or retribution. Just because you're forgiving them, doesn't mean you're condoning their behavior. What's the best revenge?  Living a successful and happy life.

-Balance trust with wisdom. Not all people should be trusted.. If someone keeps betraying your trust, then they're probably not someone worthy of your trust. Use your wisdom in order to not repeat these things in the future.

-Lastly when the time comes, think about other things and move on. Which means: Stop talking about it. I've had plenty of friends who retell, retell, and retell the same story. I've even been this person.  Every time that you/they finish the conversation, it's always with "I'm just so over it." Then another 15 minutes of talking.  Cut it out! Stop talking about it and it'll help you move forward, which is ultimately what you want.

For me, I had to learn how to forgive- truly letting go of the past.  Everyone makes mistakes.  She may have messed up this time... He may have forgot about dinner plans.. Next week, it could be you apologizing.  Stand up for yourself, but know which situations are worth your time and effort and which ones are not.