How Do You See Your Date?

[caption id="attachment_2717" align="aligncenter" width="320"] Photo Credit: www.ladiestreat.com[/caption]

This post isn't about where your date will be or your vision. The question, "How do you see your date?" refers to your perception of your date. Are you seeing your date through your positive frames of perception or your negative ones?

For instance, when you first meet your date, do you immediately think, "Ugh, I hate that outfit?" If that's your first thought before speaking to them, you've got on your negative frames of perception. Pop out those negative frames and pop in the positive frames. Now, you should see them and think,"Different choice of outfit, but I can't wait to get to know them!"

See the difference?

If your date says something off the wall or has completely different interests from you, don't be  instantly negative about it. It will ruin your experience and it's guaranteed that if you make it a habit to leave those negative frames of perception over your eyes, you'll hate every date you have. You'll find something wrong with their hair, their body, their outfit, their car, their meal choice, their taste in movies, their taste in music...you'll find any and every reason not to like them.

That is one surefire way to remain single. Nobody is perfect and you can't see the positive without putting on your positive frames of perception. Remember, it's also important to look at yourself positively. If you struggle with that, check out our post about being the best you.

Until next time,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

"Get Your Sexy On" Happy Hour and Style Event Recap

First, we would like to thank everyone, members and non-members, who attended our fabulous "Get Your Sexy On" style coaching event! We had so much fun and learned so much about date appropriate attire. The most simple changes can make the sexiest difference in an outfit. Who knew? Image consultants, Carmen Westbrook and Victor Rogers, that's who!

[caption id="attachment_2703" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Image consultants Victor Rogers and Carmen Westbrook[/caption]

The following are a few tips that stuck out the most:

• Fit, fit, fit!- Men, a shirt that fits is not too tight, it just fits. You're used to the extra room because you've been wearing shirts that are two sizes too big. Big shirts may be comfortable, but they are also sloppy. The same applies to pants. Women, showing a little skin and wearing clothes that actually show your shape won't make you a "hoochie mama."  Wearing clothes that are too big for you will make you look frumpy dumpy.


• Women, repeat after me,"I will wear a DRESS to my date."- Men across the room agreed a dress was their preferred piece of clothing for a date. Get off of your high horse for a moment. Sure you're a powerful business leader, you also want a powerful man. Play the feminine role and let him play the masculine role on your date. No one at the office has to know!


• If your wallet is a mess, she may think you are too.- Women like when men know how to accessorize in a masculine way. The wallet is the most common male accessory , but sometimes even a nice wallet can give women the wrong idea. A nice wallet  bursting with junk implies you're a mess according to Director of Matchmaking, Jennifer, and several women who were in the audience. All women were able to agree, even if you aren't assumed to be a mess due to your wallet, a big fat wallet full of receipts (not money) isn't attractive.


• Don't be afraid of trying too hard- Your date wants to feel like you cared about coming to see them. Don't come to a date looking like you're just stopping by to chat with a friend. In the words of the image consultants, "The goal is to get to naked right?" Spark some interest. Show you have something nice going on under those clothes. Remember, fit, fit, fit!

[caption id="attachment_2699" align="alignnone" width="300"] Coffee date look. Yes, it's possible to be casual and still look like you care![/caption]

There were several models to help the audience get a better understanding of what their outfits should look like. Special thanks to Kurt, Carolina, Chris and Jennifer for strutting their stuff!

                                 

At the end of the presentation, the audience had a fun Q&A session with the style coaches. A variety of topics were covered including favorite date outfits of men and women, custom clothing, bad accessories and good accessories, and how to compliment a woman.

[caption id="attachment_2693" align="alignnone" width="300"] Asking why more men don't get manicures. Good question![/caption]

Of course, we let our singles mingle together, before and after the presentation.

   

About Carmen Westbrook:

[caption id="attachment_2706" align="alignnone" width="172"] Image Consultant
Carmen Westbrook[/caption]

“What I like about fashion has nothing to do with the superficial aspect of it - the “it” bag of the season, possessing everything that is hot, new, or purely high end designer. It’s about how the perfect outfit can transform the way you feel. It’s about creating a wardrobe that’s a true reflection of your unique personality and style.”

That simple fashion philosophy, and a real desire to do something meaningful, is what led Carmen Westbrook to create Naked. She’s truly passionate about fashion and making people feel comfy in their own skin (with some clothes on, of course). Click here to learn more about Carmen's Naked Fashion Help.

About Victor Rogers:

[caption id="attachment_2705" align="alignnone" width="176"] Image Consultant Victor Rogers[/caption]

Victor has an incredible eye for detail and a gift for encouraging people to look and feel their absolute best. He created Victorious Inc. as a way to combine his talents, interests and favorite activities, while helping people improve their image through smart wardrobe choices. He especially enjoys helping clients navigate major transitions such as career change, significant weight loss or gain, or 'suddenly single' and dating again. No matter where they are, Victor knows that by putting their best foot forward (in the right shoe, of course!) , they will look and feel better along their journey.

Born in L.A. (Lower Alabama), Victor studied psychology and English literature and earned a degree in broadcast news and public affairs. He has worked in public relations and communications for more than 15 years, writing, consulting, and preparing individuals and groups for media interviews by giving tips on what to say and what to wear (or what not to wear) during that crucial moment. To learn more about Victor's Victorious Inc. click here.

Hope you took notes!

Until next time,

One on One and Eight at Eight

Internet Stalking, Don't Do It!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="320"] Photo Credit: www.safetyweb.com[/caption]

It's no secret that today you can ‘Google’ just about anything or anyone you want. You can find out how much your neighbor paid for their home, the criminal background of just about anyone and even your co-workers' salaries. Just because the social media and ‘Google’ make it  so -darned- easy to cyber stalk does NOT mean you should do it.

Before a first date, please don't Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn, Google or stalk your potential match in any way. If you have been set up through a good friend, or reputable company like One on One Matchmaking or the 8 at 8 Dinner Club, you have nothing to worry about. If you read all about your future date online, it will make you look like a creepy person for knowing WAY too much about them already. It will also prevent organic conversation from developing between the two of you because you already know everything. This all adds up to a less fun firstdate. Snooping around the Internet may also cause you to make snap judgments about someone, before you have even met. Our first impressions of people can hinder us from wanting to get to know them, if they are based on what we have heard or read about them, rather than what we have experienced with them.

For example, you may see several pictures of your date with the opposite sex. Your first impression could be "player" or "not serious about a relationship." Those people could simply be relatives and now you're headed to the date with a bad seed in your mind about them. That bad seed could cause you to be awkward, ruin the date and miss out on someone who is a big family person. Do you see where we're headed with this? Pictures are NOT worth a thousand words, when it comes to judging the character of a stranger....well unless it's a picture of them doing something violent or incriminating.

Besides, slipping up on the date and showing you know way too much about them is one extremely quick way to make your date think you’re A PSYCHO STALKER crazy.

Just relax. It is a first date. If there isn’t a connection or chemistry and you don’t want to go out with them ever again- good news- you don’t have to! Don’t be scared of dating. You have to put yourself out there to get the results that you are looking for. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Good luck and don't stalk,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

3 Reasons Your Hot Date Turned Cold

 

The date was a success! You talked and laughed for hours. You call your hot date to ask for a second one. What happened? Your hot date turned cold.

This happens to both men and women. Anything could have happened. Maybe it was something you said, lack of chemistry or an ex swept them off of their feet right after your date. Some things you can't avoid but the way you carry yourself on your date is in your control. Make sure you didn't commit any of the offense below. If you did, that may be the reason your hot date turned cold.

You Referenced Your Ex: Sure, everyone knows not to talk abouttheir past relationships on dates, but think back to your date. Did you subconsciously talk about them? "Oh Jenny used to love that movie!" or "Bob hated hiking. I'm glad you like it!" While you're not really talking about them, you're still referencing them, as you're sitting on a date with someone else. That implies you're dwelling, which for people who like to stay drama-free is a turnoff. Who wants to be compared to the ex all the time? You're not with them for a reason. Don't compare them to this great new person. Give them a clean slate.

You Complained: Nothing turns off someone who's interested in you faster than complaining all the time. "I wish I  could drop a few pounds," "Ugh this food is terrible. We should've done a different restaurant," or "Our waiter is terrible. What's wrong with him?" are all things you should avoid saying on the first few dates. Be positive and happy to be on the date, until you have proven that you're not an all-round negative person. Remember, they don't have a lot to go on so the way you behave on the date is perceived to be how you are in general.

You Were Mean: Sometimes the waiter makes mistakes or people bump into you. When you're on a date you need to be on your best behavior when this happens. Don't be mean to the waiter for forgetting you wanted water with no ice. Don't shove someone who bumps into you because it's crowded and please, please, please don't say, "Well there goes their tip!" That comment is rude and uncalled for. It's not funny to someone who doesn't know you- it's mean. Also, if your date is a little out of the loop don't make them feel bad by saying things like, "You didn't know that?What's wrong with you?" Try not to verbally react to things that annoy you on the date. Make your date feel like you are a friendly, welcoming person and they'll want to see you again.

We hope these tips will help you in the future. Are you guilty of any of these things? Make an effort not to reference your ex (no matter what), be positive and make no complaints. Be friendly and welcoming on your date instead of a mean grouch and that hot date will stay hot for you!

If you aren't making these mistakes, it just means there was no mutual chemistry. May be you were too much like a friend or didn't seem interested enough- make sure to smile often. It could be any number of things, but as long as you are on your best behavior, it's no fault of yours.

Good Luck,

Eight at Eight and One on One

Photo credits: www.parentsconnect.com- fun date, www.vanessandra.com- questionable heart, www.servextra.com-man waiting by phone

Why Being the Best You is Important

[caption id="attachment_2668" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo Credit: www.personalitytutor.com[/caption]

Being the best you is important to your dating life for many reasons. The most obvious reason is you wouldn't want to date someone who wasn't at their best, unless you're into fixer-uppers. This sentiment is shared amongst other daters as well.

Being the best you is all about being at a place in life where you actually like yourself. I'm not talking about your accomplishments, your figure or your style. I'm talking about you. Your goal should be to like, no, love you! Love all of your imperfections and quirks. So you say weird things sometimes, think of yourself as delightfully quirky. You may need to lose a few pounds, in your mind say, " I'm more to love." You may be dating a little older. Tell yourself, "I've got the most experience in all things fun and I know the city better than anyone."

It's all about perspective. Now, this doesn't mean you should have unrealistic beliefs nor does it mean give up on your goal to lose 10 pounds. It just means you should love yourself for the current you.  Accept that life is a journey and you will change along the way. Embrace those changes, learn from those changes and use them to mold yourself in to someone amazing.

No one is going to want someone who dislikes themselves, especially if you're obvious about it. Don't complain about your hair or your weight all the time. Just improve it. Get a new haircut start exercising or find some delicious, healthy recipes so you're not on a miserable diet.

Like yourself and it will make you more positive and happy. It will shine from the inside out and that shine is what will attract the partner you seek.

For more tips on being the best you visit: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/inez-bracy/3-ways-love-yourself-attract-your-mate-expert

Until next time,

Eight at Eight and One on One

5 Signs She Wants a Second Date

[caption id="attachment_2662" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo credit: datingwithdignity.com[/caption]

So you got through your first date with her. Great! Wondering if she is interested in a second date? This post will share 5 signs she wants a second date with you.

1. She leans in towards you more as the date goes on: Everyone's body language speaks about their subconscious. As she becomes more interested in you, getting closer to you will happen naturally. If she distances herself from you, that's not a good sign.

2. Lots of smiling: This one may not be true for all women, but when something affects them positively, many will smile more. Laughing more is a good sign too. Laughing is her way of showing you she is enjoying herself.

3.She touches you: If she gives your shoulder a soft touch or grabs your arm while laughing, she is interested in you. Women don't touch men who turn them off.

4.She texts you after the date: Usually women will do this, if they really enjoyed the date. Why else would she waste time texting you about how much she enjoyed herself, if not to drop a hint she wants another date? Whether she texts you or not, you should call her the next day and tell her how much you enjoyed the date, if you are interested in a second one.

Yes, everyone sends texts these days, but you are a gentleman so you are not going to do that. Asking for a date via text is for the extremely shy or daters who don't really care. You're a man, ask her out. Plus hearing your deep, manly voice may sway her to want a second date.

5. She suggests a future place: If she says something like, "We should try that new place on 5th Street," you're in there! She is basically telling you she wants a second date. All you have to do is ask her when she's free.

These are just a few easy ways to tell she wants a second date. If she doesn't give you any signs, during the date  ask her if she enjoyed herself and, of course, call her sometime the next day. She may not know if she wants a second date or not, so maintain communication until you can get a better read from her. It's okay to include text while you're trying to figure her out but continue to call occasionally.

Tips to get her to want a second date during the first date here: http://guyism.com/lifestyle/7-tips-to-getting-a-second-date.html

Good luck,

Eight at Eight and One on One