
A lot of people, usually women, wonder how to make friends with benefits (FWBs) become a relationship. This just generally isn't a good idea, unless you are both looking for a relationship, which well....isn't a friends with benefits situation!
We're going to give you 3 reasons why this won't turn into a relationship.
1. Poor Foundation- When two people are intimate for a long time, naturally one of them may become interested in something more. Unfortunately, most FWBs are not built on a good foundation for a relationship. Friends with benefits normally have a good amount of physical attraction, but don't delve into the emotional side of their relationship. You may be turned on physically by your "friend," but that doesn't mean that they have any qualities you connect with enough to sustain a serious relationship.
2. You've Objectified Each Other- You see each other as intimate objects. He or she is something to go to when you have a need and to walk away from when you have gotten what you want. Taking this mentality into a relationship is a bad idea. Relationships are complex and you must be able to be patient with your partner. You may not get exactly what you want from them, the way you want it or when you want it.
3. You Both Came in Wanting One Thing- You suddenly having feelings towards your "friend" will not spark something in them that makes them want a relationship. Explain how you are feeling to your FWB, but do not be surprised if the feeling isn't mutual. Go find someone who wants to be in a relationship with you, not your body.
*There are rare instances in which both people secretly wanted a relationship and go on to have thriving relationships. Don't count on this, but if your feelings are so strong you can't bare to only be FWBs, tell them how you feel. You may lose your FWB, but you don't want to get hurt emotionally, by continuing to be in an FWB situation you wish could be more.
Good luck,
One on One and Eight at Eight
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