Photo Credit: www.Kootation.com[/caption]Are we exclusive? Exclusivity is a topic that swirls around the heads of men and women alike, when they start gaining feelings for the person they've been dating. It's important not to bring up exclusivity too soon and that you don't behave as if you are exclusive, before you know how the other person feels. Acting like you're exclusive too soon can make you seem desperate and clingy. Don't invite them to dinner with your parents after one date!
We have clients who are so smitten, after a few dates, they want to stop going on dates with other clients. This is great, but only if both parties have decided to only date one another. You can't stop your dating life because you met someone who seems great. You have to know the person you have met believes you are equally great too! If the person you stopped dating for starts dating someone else exclusively, it could seriously damage your dating confidence. Don't stop dating casually, until you know the person you're dating isn't seeing anyone else.
Going on three dates is a good start, but that doesn't mean you're in an exclusive relationship. Have you met his or her friends? Has the person you're dating slipped in any lines about plans for something coming up in a few months? If not, you're likely not exclusive and you should be comfortable going on dates with other people. You never know when you are going to find The One.
When should we talk about exclusivity?
If you have been dating for more than a month and spending lots of time together, every weekend and maybe a few week days, it's safe to start pondering over exclusivity. It's also a good idea to think about becoming exclusive if you have met friends or family. Bring it up in a playful way at first to gauge the reaction of your partner. If you get an awkward or negative reaction, it's not time to have "the talk." If you get a positive, playful reaction, see where the conversation goes. If it fizzles, that's okay. You've put the topic of exclusivity on your partners radar. Bring it up in a less playful, but casual way a week or two later.
Askmen.com has an interesting scenario of how exclusivity comes about: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/38_dating_girl.html
Good luck,
One on One and Eight at Eight
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