Summer Love - Easy Date Ideas

Summer is upon us!  The good news is that during summer, dates can be low cost and active due to the scorching heat warm weather!  Here are some fun, low cost, out of the box ideas for a nice summer date!

1. Picnic at the park:  This one is easy! Nothing like a bottle of wine, cheese, and some mini sandwiches devoured on a blanket - oh so romantic!

2. Night Grilling in the back yard:  instead of going to a loud stuffy restaurant just throw some meat and veggies on the grill.  It is heathy, something that you two can do together, and delicious!

3. Kite Flying: seriously everyone forgets how fun this is!  Go get a cheap kite and help each other try to fly it.  So sweet.

4. Bike riding: if you two don't have bikes, in most cities you can rent bikes.  Jump on the bikes and just ride throughout the city together.  You will both enjoy seeing the city from a different perspective...and burn some calories.

5. A day at the Zoo: I know you have probably seen the animals a million times but it will never get old.  Take the day, pack some snacks, and walk around the zoo together.

6. Flea Market & Yard Sale shopping: look in the paper & on craigslist for upcoming yard sales.  Plan out your stops and go together to see what "treasures" people are getting rid of.

7. Putt Putt Golf: this one is always frustrating fun! ...and a great way to see just how patient your date its! Oh...and we all know that everyone likes to imagine little people living in these cute replicaes of mini villages.

Just remember that anything can be a "date".  Just make it light & fun - since that is really what dating is all about - FUN!

HAPPY SUMMER!

5 Love Languages

As matchmakers, we are always reading up on new things dealing with love so we can better help our clients.  One of the best books that we encourage everyone to read is "The Five Love Languages".  This book is for everyone - whether single or married.  It  clarifies your way of expressing and interpreting love.

Do you know your love language?  You should!  Click HERE to take the quiz.

Men - Take the Lead!

I have men contact me or write in every week telling me they didn't know how to end the date or ask for a 2nd date.

Men, we have got to talk about this!!!!

It's killing me and 95% of the women out there. In today's world, where women take the lead in their work life, the one place they don't want to take the lead is in their personal life.  If the woman is even remotely type A she will be very turned off that you didn't take the lead in this area.

 

Despite what you see professionally, women still want to be romanced!  They want to feel like if they are being taken OUT, especially in the beginning stages, its the one place they can feel sexy, feminine, and girly.  They just want to think about looking pretty, being sweet and having fun.  It's still your job to court her.  Women have never stopped wanting you to do this, I promise.

Take the lead.  If you know you want to see her again, just asking directly for a 2nd date while you are on the first date.  Yes, you are going to get rejected.  That's part of life.

I read an article recently, where people married people were polled.   20% of women said, they didn't even like their husband when they first met him.  I bet they hadn't made up their mind about him after a first date. But, clearly, the men pursued these women and won them over.

I can guarantee it started with making the woman feel special, feel pursued, feel important.  Taking the lead in itself can be the game changer.

So, in short.  Ask her out for a first date while on a 2nd date. Plan something fun. Call her to follow up within 2 days to iron out the details.  Make her feel like she can relax with you in charge.  She can be the "lady" and just have fun.  Starting out on the right foot can make a world of difference.

Being Stood Up is the WORST!

To really do dating the right way, you have to be open-minded, courteous, honest and have a positive attitude.  Going into the chaotic world of dating with a judgmental and negative attitude will get you nowhere. You may as well just save yourself the time, effort and money and stay at home.

Snap judgments are the absolute worst. Don’t accept a date with someone, if you know there is a deal-beaker. Accepting a date and then being a no show is extremely rude and disrespectful to the other person. Who cares if they aren’t your perfect match. He or she is a human being and they deserve the same respect that you do.

Maybe you have personally been stood up before, or done it to someone else, but there is no excuse for it. Everyone’s time is valuable so do the courteous thing and let him or her know that you can’t make the date.  It’s that easy.

Making up your mind about a person before you ever go on a date is a huge mistake as well. You may close doors on a great person because of a judgment that you made on their outfit or be overly excited about a person you have nothing in common with because you think they are attractive. Yes, looks matter but finding love goes so much deeper than that.

Finally, never lie to your date. You never know where the relationship will go or who you two have in common. Like the saying goes, honesty is the best policy.

Finding Balance in a Relationship

In the dating world, everyone knows that some people “date out of their league.” And no, I am not talking about looks; I am talking about personality, interests and hobbies as well.

You want to attract a partner who loves to workout, hike and spend time at the beach? Get off your butt and go do those things! Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk.

So many times the characteristics and traits that people want in a partner are polar opposite of the way that they actually are themselves. Guys with no fashion sense want a trendy and fashionable girl. Girls who love to watch movies on the couch want a sporty, athletic guy. It doesn’t really work that way. A relationship with someone that you have nothing in common with will never work out.

Now, I am by no means saying that a couple has to have identical interests and hobbies, but there has to be some overlap. To have a successful relationship you have to share a few similar interests. Maybe you like to jog together, or maybe you both love to cook new things. Save the different interests for your time apart. Let him play golf, poker, and lift weights when he is with the guys and he will let you watch rom-coms, get your nails done, and gossip with the girls.

There is a perfect balance of time together and time with your friends that you should strive for. Once you find out what works for you and your relationship; it’s guaranteed to be a happy one.

A happy girl is a pretty girl!

Have you ever heard the phrase: "A happy girl is a pretty girl"?  We think this rule applies to dating - and to both men and women!  The happy people seem the most approachable, the most fun to be around, and bring the joy to the party of life.  Increase your odds of scoring a date with the cutie across the room - or of having the hot girl walk over and hand you her number - by acting like, and actually BEING - the happiest person in the place!

I have observed 6 things that the happy people are doing differently than the "unhappy" set.  Practice these habits, and soon being happy will truly be second nature to you!

1. Exercise.  It is true that exercise increases endorphins, which then of course elevates your mood.  People who exercise regularly also feel better about themselves both inside and out, so do your future love life a favor -- and hit the gym!

2. Have goals.  People who have something to look forward to and to strive for tend to come across as more satisfied.  Not to mention, it is definitely attractive to talk to someone who is ambitious!

3. Forgive people.  Those who harbor resentment and anger over past hurts or wrong doings are only hurting themselves.  Don't you think the person who hurt you has forgotten about it?  Probably.  So - so should you.  Put a smile on your face and move on.  Soon, that hurt will ACTUALLY BE a distant memory!

4. Be social!  This keeps your perspectives fresh, and your energy level up.  Don't be a couch potato; get out there, socialize, and meet new people!

5. Be thankful.  Grateful people come across as the most satisfied - so always practice gratitude.  Not to mention - who wants to date someone who is rude to the waiter, or snappy to the valet?  Treat everyone graciously, and it will be noticed by the people around you.

6. Last but not least - Don't sweat the small stuff.  This sounds cliche, but seriously.  No one wants to be around the person who is ALWAYS stressing about SOMETHING that is actually insignificant to everyone around them.  It is hard to enjoy the true joys of life when you are too consumed with the tiny ding on your bumper, or the fact that you gained 2 pounds.  Move on, stop obsessing, and don't sweat it.  People who go with the flow are much more attractive - be one of them!

Ask us about our national date coaching program-  888-897-8285, coaching@1on1matchmaking.com.

Until next time,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Good Things Don’t Come Easy! No Really… They Don’t!

People say to me all the time, "Don't you feel so lucky to have met your husband?"  This got me thinking. On one hand, yes, I do feel lucky to have met my partner. On the other, I knew what I wanted and I went after it, therefore I feel like I deserve it. Just like a sales call, I knew what I wanted the final outcome to be. I knew that finding a great husband and future father of my children were the most important things to me. Finding love and happiness was definitely worth the risk of failure.

It’s pretty simple.

You want it. You strive for it. You try even harder. You don’t quit.

I met my husband on the 2^nd round of joining a dating service, and on the 9^th date. I had been on dozens of bad dates prior. I had a date show up drunk, I had to walk home from dinner one night because my date got a DUI with me in the car; trust me I have done my time. I treated the bad dates as funny stories to tell my girlfriends over cocktails and didn’t let them upset me. Quitting my search for Mr. Right was never an option. For me, dating was a fun journey and an adventure.

As a matchmaker, the biggest frustration in the business is when people give up or simply do nothing. Stop whining to your friends and family if you are not ready to put your money where your mouth is. If you go on a bad date or Eight at Eight dinner where there was not a connection, don't give up. Dating is a process and everyone you meet along the way will help you learn more about yourself and what you are looking for.

Dating CAN be fun; you just have to make an effort to look at it that way. Think about exercise. I hate running, but guess what? It’s something I have to do to keep my booty in check. I run with friends, download new music, change locations and do whatever I have to do to keep it fresh, new and fun. Dating is no different. You have to keep it fresh, new and fun.

So don't give up on dating! Stay positive and remember to give your matchmaker both written and verbal feedback so that they can help you stay on track to finding your perfect match. We always feel like we won the World Series here in the office when someone ends up in a relationship. Believe me, we want it just as much as you do!

Online Dating Tips

 

Guys, listen up. Before you send a message to a new crush on your favorite online dating site, please take a few pieces of advice. What you say and how you say it are detramental to your online dating success. A few simple mistakes may ruin your chances with a potential date before she even meets you.

First things first. Don't be creepy. Women looking for relationships don't want a message full of "hey baby's" and pet name calling. They want to hear why you are interested in dating them. Talk about a mutual hobby or sports team, an aspiration in life or something you have in common. She wants to know why you think the two of you will hit it off. If you feel the strong urge to tell her she is beautiful, do so in a flattering way. There is a fine line between flattery and being flat out degrading.

Always be very respectful. When meeting a woman you want to date for the first time in person, would you gush over her hot bod, call her sexy or make inappropriate comments? No. Same applies to dating online. Don't make her feel cheap. Always give her the same respect that you would anyone else. Mentioning sex in an initial email is a quick way to turn her off to the idea of a date with you.

Finally, in online messages, genuinely get to know your potential date. If you are hitting it off, ask her on a real date. No "meeting up" in bars or inviting her to hang with the guys. A date. Just the two of you.

Now ladies, this isn't to say that you do everything right either. You have to follow the same rules as the guys, but shouldn't be too forward. Being pushy is un-ladylike and can push men away.

Just remember, always be yourself, be respectful and friendly, and of course, have fun!

Fabulous News from 8 @ 8 DC!

Everyone here at the 8 at 8 Dinner Club whole-heartedly believes that our fun-filled dinners are a great way to meet singles and form new relationships, but when we get emails like the one that we got this morning, it completely brightens our days!



We received an email from Mike  cancelling a dinner that he was signed up for in the next couple of weeks. The reason? He is now seriously dating another 8 at 8 member that he met at a prior dinner! When we responded to his email and asked him who the lucky lady is he simply responded, “Carrie. But I’m the lucky one.” Our hearts are melting!

Mike and Carrie are both now former members of the 8 at 8 Dinner Club. Of course we hate to see them go, but we are even more excited that they have found love! We want to send HUGE congratulations to Mike and Carrie on their new-found relationship and wish them the best of luck!

Dressing to the Nines (or Eights!) For Eight at Eight

Before a big date, do you find yourself scrambling at the last minute to put together the perfect outfit? Do you come home to a giant mound of wadded up clothes and shoes on your bedroom floor after the date? I have good news for you ladies: You aren’t alone! Meeting someone for the first time can be stressful. Of course you want to make the perfect first impression on your date, starting with your outfit.

First, look up the restaurant you are going to have dinner at on your date. The website, menu and pictures should all give you a great idea of how casual or dressy that particular restaurant is. As far as casual places go, remember it is always better to be over dressed than under dressed! Dressing appropriate for the atmosphere is key.

Next, you want your outfit to be memorable, but not for the wrong reasons! You don’t want your skirt to be too tight, your dress to be too short, or your top to be so low cut that your date can’t focus on what’s most important -- YOU! Remember the high-low rule: if you are wearing a short skirt or dress, the neckline should not be too revealing. If you are wearing a lower cut top, your choice for bottoms should not show too much leg. It’s simple!

Finally, don’t be afraid of color! So many women play it safe and wear black. Now don’t get me wrong, black is a fabulous color and can be very flattering.  But if you do decide to wear black, spice it up with some fun, colorful statement jewelry!

Most importantly, you need to feel good in what you wear. When you feel good, you look your best and your confidence will radiate! Knock ‘em dead!