The Reason She Says She is "Just Looking for Friends"

[caption id="attachment_2904" align="aligncenter" width="595"] Photo Credit: gatewayoflife.wordpress.com[/caption]

Lately, it seems we have been getting more and more men complaining about women at singles events, meant for meeting someone to date, claiming they are there to "make friends." We're going to give it to you straight fellas. She is there to make friends, when it comes to YOU. That doesn't mean she isn't looking for a relationship...especially, if she is at a singles event meant to help her find one.

This is a nice way of saying she isn't interested. We always encourage women to be honest when they are not interested in a guy, but sometimes they just don't have it in them to tell you.

This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. You just may not be her type. Move on to a woman who is looking for a relationship...with someone like you.

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Are You Living Up to Your Personal Brand?

[caption id="attachment_2897" align="aligncenter" width="550"] Photo Credit: www.kenburkey.com[/caption]

You might be asking yourself, "What's a personal brand?" A personal brand  is one line of key traits that embodies who you are. This idea was developed by Rachel Greenwalt in her book, "Find a Husband After 35." Coming up with this line is tough because of how complex our personalities can be, but your personal brand should highlight your best qualities. After people come in contact with you, they should always leave you or your online profile knowing your most interesting traits.

For instance, let's say your favorite traits about yourself are that you are world-traveler,  health enthusiast, and golfer. On your online  dating profile your byline would be "World-traveling, health enthusiast, golfer." This is just an example. You can pick any three traits for this, but be mindful about wording, because your photos and words are the only way people decide if they want to talk to you online. Express your personal brand through photos by posting pictures of yourself on your travels or while on the golf course. You should always reinforce your brand in some way.

In person, your personal brand should be used like a commercial. As you talk to someone you are interested in, sprinkle in your personal brand. Don't blurt it at random, but as the different parts of your brand fit the conversation. If the topic of traveling comes up, be sure to state some of the exotic locations you have been to. If you discuss things you do for fun, talk about your love for golf and how much fun it was playing last weekend. Talking about food? Be sure to highlight how much you love food and enjoy coming up with fun ways to make healthy dishes taste great. Don't feel pressure to mention every part of your brand, but try to do so, when it makes sense.

The easiest way to share your brand without being awkward, is to have something to say, when people ask you tell them about yourself. You should already know how you would answer this question. Remember, you want the person to leave knowing  your favorite traits about yourself. Tell them enough to get them interested in getting to know more about you.

To learn more about personal branding and how to create your personal brand take a peek at "Find a Husband After 35" by Rachel Greenwalt. Don't let the title deter you. There are great ideas for how to market yourself in the dating world for people of all ages and many of the tips are applicable to men as well.

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Is the Person I'm Dating Relationship Material?

 

Wondering if someone is relationship material, after going on several casual dates, is common. The question is what is it that makes someone relationship material? Today we're going to give you four key points to help you determine whether or not your sweetie is just for fun or in for the long haul.

1. The person does NOT say, "I don't want a relationship"- If  someone tells you he or she does not want a relationship, believe them.  You can't put what you want on the back burner and hope he or she will eventually want the same thing. You are much more likely to develop a serious relationship with someone who is on the same page as you. Of course, there are always exceptions, but don't put all your hope into someone who has already told you they don't want what you want.

2. He or she let's you into their world- Anyone who let's you get to know close friends or family, especially, probably wants to keep you around for a while. Also, doing routine activities like exercising together is a good sign, because you are now part of their routine. Someone who isn't relationship material will be secretive of their personal life. Often, they will  keep you separate from all aspects of their life, including friends, family and most of their routine activities. If you only see your sweetie on the weekends, when they have nothing else going on, you are not dealing with someone who is ready for a relationship with you.

3. They are NOT the "me, me, me" type- People who care only about themselves are not relationship material. This doesn't mean that they will never find their match, but they need to go through more life experience and have a few revelations about what it means to be in a relationship, before you or anyone enters a relationship with them. Trying to make a  relationship work with someone like this will be exhausting and emotionally depleting. These types of people do not reciprocate emotional support, which is important for a healthy relationship.

4. He or she communicates well- Poor communication can ruin a relationship. Gauge the communication skills of the person you are dating, before entering in a relationship with them. Do they just pop up without asking if you are available? Do they cancel plans randomly? If they are in a bad mood, do they talk to you about what's bothering them or do they lash out? These are all things you should think about.  Not communicating properly about plans or emotions can wear heavily on both you and your relationship.

We hope these tips are useful and that your current sweetie is in it for the long haul!

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Let's Reminisce....RiRa Happy Hour!

Last Thursday, Oct 3, our One on One and Eight at Eight Atlanta singles took over the newly renovated RiRa Irish Pub. More than 100 professional singles had the opportunity to mingle  and connect.  We appreciate everyone coming out and looking great!

The office was excited to see lots of emails come through this morning with connection requests!

Below are a few photos for attendees to reminisce over. If you didn't make it, take a look at what you missed!






[caption id="attachment_2884" align="alignnone" width="595"] Matchmaker Lindsay looking for connections to make.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2882" align="alignnone" width="595"] Matchmakers Carrie and Alicia greeting the sexy singles[/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_2877" align="alignnone" width="595"] Of course, President Sarah Kathryn Smith (middle) couldn't miss the fun![/caption]

 

Be sure to keep a look out for our next event.

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight 

He's Too Nice- The Reason You're Wrong

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"He's too nice" is such a frustrating sentence. What makes a man or anyone too nice? Is that even really possible?

The reason you're likely wrong about him?

You probably only date "bad boys" (not on purpose):

Most women have been guilty of dating bad boys at some point. A select few never learn how to stop being attracted to them. These men  know how to attract women easily. They know what to say and when to say it. It's not easy to turn down their charming smiles and ability to keep you intrigued, while maintaining a bit of mystery. You have to learn how to look past the smile and hear what a man is really saying, not what you want to hear.

Nice guys are simply foreign to you.  You have to get used to them, if you ever want to date someone who will treat you well.  Think about what your idea of what a man is. If the man pursuing you encompasses all the traits you associate with what man is supposed to be, but he compliments you too much or he is always opening your door or offering to carry things, ask yourself "Why don't I deserve these things?"

That's right. Why don't you deserve someone who compliments you often? Why don't you deserve someone who wants to be a gentleman for you? If you come to the conclusion you deserve these things, let nice men date you and stop complaining about their acts of kindness.

If you feel there is something in your past that keeps you going back to the wrong types of men, consider date coaching to help you break this pattern.

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight