The One on One Team Wants to Meet You!

 

Starting Friday, Sept 6, One on One Matchmaking is hosting an open house every Friday! Prospective members are welcome to come meet the team and get their matchmaking questions answered, during open house hours.

Stop by our office any Friday between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. for wine, cheese, laughs and love.

[caption id="attachment_2803" align="aligncenter" width="120"] One on One Founder: Sarah Kathryn Smith[/caption]

We look forward to meeting you!

-The One on One Team

 

Breaking Bad Dating Patterns

[caption id="attachment_2796" align="aligncenter" width="595"] Break Bad Dating Patterns to Start Making Better Choices[/caption]

Do you find yourself always dating the wrong woman or wrong man? You likely have a dating pattern that needs to be broken.

Sometimes, because people come in different shapes and sizes, we are tricked into thinking they are different from our previous partners. This is not always the case.  You may be dating someone who is more nerdy than the ultra-suave man you dated before, but he is still emotionally unavailable. Maybe you tried to date a woman who was a teacher because you thought she would be more nurturing than your corporate ex, but she still seems too busy for you. The reason it seems like "they're all the same" is because, subconsciously, you are picking the same types of people to date.

Make a list of your past 4 relationships, then list the first 3 qualities you liked and disliked about them that pop into your head. You will soon be able to see a pattern. If the pattern is you date women who are not nurturing, ask qualifying questions as you are getting to know your potential partner. For instance, "I love a good home-cooked meal. Do you like to cook?" You could also try the playful approach. "I'm terrible, when I'm sick. Are you a good nurse?" Judge her responses to your questions to decide whether or not she will be the type of nurturing woman you desire.

Figuring out men is a little more difficult. The easiest way to judge them is by their actions. If your pattern is dating men who are emotionally unavailable, be wary of men who make excuses for not showing more emotion or refuse to open up about their personal lives. Not knowing much about him after several dates is usually a sign he is not willing to open up and he is emotionally unavailable. Read more about emotionally unavailable men here.

Dating patterns are often caused by experiences we have had in our lives. Breaking extreme patterns like only dating addicts or emotionally abusive people may require professional help from a counselor.

These are just two examples of possible bad dating patterns, but your pattern may be different. A dating coach is a great resource to help you identify and break dating patterns that are negatively impacting your dating life. One on One Matchmaking offers a national date coaching program. Email coaching@1on1matchmaking.com or call 888-897-8285 to learn more.

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight 

How to Pick the Right Deal Breakers

[caption id="attachment_2788" align="aligncenter" width="595"] Some deal breakers really are this silly![/caption]

We talked a bit about broadening your horizons  a few posts ago, but sometimes it is necessary to have a few deal breakers. Deal breakers should only be things that you absolutely can't do with out. If it's fixable, it shouldn't be a deal breaker.

For instance, if the person you have your eye on has yellow teeth, that can be fixed easily. Say the person you're interested in is slightly heavier than you'd like, dropping 10 pounds is simple. You two could even bond by exercising and cooking healthy meals together. Don't miss out on someone great because of something minuscule in the grand scheme of things.

When you're looking for a life partner, deal breakers should be things that will impact your life, like someone with horrible credit that could keep you two from getting a home for the next 7 years , or someone who is a habitual liar and keeps you wondering about what is true. Your partner having untoned arms and not being tanned enough are not things that will actually affect your life together.

*Having reasonable deal breakers is especially important for singles looking to have children. You should be looking for someone who will be a great parent to your future child not a model to parade around or an ATM.

Bottom Line

Our advice is to have 3, maybe 5, deal breakers max. When picking deal breakers, make sure they are things that could potentially affect your life and are not easily fixable. Always try to look at the positive side and negative side of the person you are interested in dating. Having 27 out of the 30 qualities you're looking for may outweigh one of your deal breakers.

Good luck and remember to keep those deal breakers reasonable,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Tips for Shifting Your Energy- For Masculine Women and Feminine Men

[caption id="attachment_2782" align="alignnone" width="595"] Photo Credit: omgwedding.ru[/caption]

Are you a woman who struggles with having masculine energy or a man who struggles with feminine energy? Don't worry shifting your energy will be easy with our tips.

For Masculine Women

At work, utilizing masculine energy is sometimes necessary. The trick is knowing how to turn it off. If you want a powerful man, you have to know how to allow him to be powerful. Two people can't wear the pants in the relationship. Being overly aggressive and always taking the lead can be a turnoff for some men. Men like to feel needed. Allow him to do things for you and learn how to appreciate compliments. Let him open your door, carry heavy things for you, or guide you through a crowd.

In a conversation, don't only talk about yourself and your success at work. Show genuine interest by asking him questions about himself and smiling as he answers, when appropriate. For instance, if he says he loves to cook, smile and say, "I bet you're quite the chef!" Complimenting your date can soften you quite a bit, so try to sprinkle a few compliments in throughout your date. Men love to feel strong and smart, so play up those qualities in him.

If you want to see him again, laugh at his jokes and let him know you're having a great time. Letting him know you're enjoying yourself will boost his confidence and make asking you for a second date much easier.

***Please note you do not have to be completely submissive to be feminine. Play your role in the relationship and let him play his. Let him pay, let him fix things for you, let him give you advice (when he has experience), and let him give you gifts. Let him be a man!

For Men

It's easy to have feminine ways and not be aware of it, but if someone points it out, compare yourself to your female friends and your male friends. Do you find yourself saying things that more of your female friends say, rather than what your male friends say? Saying, "My BFF," "OMG," or talking about how a woman's shoes don't go with her outfit can come across as feminine. Most heterosexual men don't say "BFF" or "OMG" and they certainly don't care about a woman's outfit, besides to say she looks great. Be wary of picking up habits from your female friends, if you have a lot of them.

You'll also need to set yourself apart from women, if you want to seem more masculine. Having lots of money is no longer an automatic plus for you. Women can make their own money and sometimes they may make more than you do. Pick up a masculine hobby fixing cars, playing recreational sports or carpentry. Hearing you talk about working on engines or golfing with the guys will put a masculine image of you in her head.

Last but not least, don't take being metro-sexual too far. Getting your eyebrows groomed so that they won't be unruly is different from getting them arched. Getting a manicure or pedicure for grooming purposes is different from getting your nails painted. Think about this in the way you walk, talk, dress and behave.

Until next time, good luck,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Broaden Your Horizons a Little, Improve Your Chances A Lot

 

[caption id="attachment_2776" align="aligncenter" width="333"] Photo Credit: thegenesisblock.com[/caption]

If you have a very specific idea of what your partner will look like, chances are you're keeping yourself from finding Mr. or Mrs. Right! Remember, no one is perfect. If you're looking for the perfect person, you will always end up disappointed because a flaw or two will eventually surface.

Does she really have to have blonde hair because you've always dated blondes? Try going on a date with a brunette you may have a great time! Does your partner absolutely have to be the same ethnicity as you? If she has 99 of your 100 must-haves, you shouldn't let lack of experience dating outside of your ethnicity deter you from dating her.

Height is another area in which you can broaden your horizons. One of our matchmakers never dated a guy under 6'1". She met a great guy who was 5'9". Reluctantly, she went on a date with him because he had everything she was looking for.  They are now madly in love! You never know what package the love of your life is going to come in. Don't be afraid to date someone who is not your usual type. You're still single, obviously, your type needs some tweaking!

Go on a date with someone you usually wouldn't go for. You just may end up in love.

Until next time, good luck,

One on One and Eight at Eight