A.S.K. (Ask Sarah Kathryn)

"Am I Out of Line?"

Q: I've been on several fantastic dates with this guy, and I really like him.  However, I don't want to get too attached before knowing a few more things. We're both ready to be in relationships, and the timing seems right in terms of where we are in our careers, finances, etc. I'm only several dates deep with this guy, but family preference is an absolute dealbreaker for me. I'm not saying that I want kids right now, but I'd like to know if he's open to the possibility of a family. How do I even break into this topic with him?    - Ava, 30-something

A: Ava, thanks so much for coming to us! You've hit the nail on the head - Family and reproductive decisions are so personal! This may seem like the last thing you want to ask your beau about in the honeymoon stages of your relationship, but it is not impossible! You definitely want to avoid wording like, "Are you going to give me babies one day?" Instead, try asking him a broader question about his vision for the future (with or without you). "Tell me what you are looking for in terms of a relationship?" and "Do you see yourself settling down and maybe having children one day?" are perfectly fair questions for the third date. If you're both invested in a long-term relationship, then these questions should be easy to weave into a conversation. I wish you the best of luck Ava!