SideBAR Happy Hour

[caption id="attachment_469" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="8at8 hostesses in New York! They ooze loveliness, don't they?"][/caption]

We had over 100 friends attend last Friday's happy hour at SideBAR. The place was packed! Thank you for such a great event  once again, and we hope to bring you another fantastic opportunity to meet other professionals. Check out our photos on Eight at Eight's facebook page and tag us to yours (don't forget to Like us!)♥

xxoo Eight at Eight Dinner Club

The Case for Good Profile Photos

Q: Why do you talk so much about appearance? I don't want to meet shallow people and anyone who can't see past a hair out of place doesn't need to be in my life in the first place. - Anonymous, 44

 

A: Excellent point. Here's the deal with photos and your appearance in regards to dating sites and matchmaking services: yours should say, "Ask me out on a date!" Make finding love worth every bit of effort you put into it. It's not about letting people judge you on your appearance on these dating sites- it's about reflecting your best qualities and not letting the surface level kinks get between you and your next great love!

 

Let me tell you a story about the first engagement at One on One Matchmaking, between a hot, young company VP and a sweet, down-to-earth Southern girl. We knew instantly that they were meant to be. However, as a brilliant businessman and a natural skeptic, we knew he may need one extra push before really falling for her. This smart Bachelorette had professional photos taken, and sent us photos of her at her very best. She was adorable in person, but her professional photos were stunning (we're talking celebrity-grade)! The Bachelor was smitten! He knew that she was college-educated, active in the community, and a perfect 10 on the inside, but now he knew she was equally beautiful on the outside too!

 

I like to remind Bachelors and Bachelorettes to allow themselves to be an all-round beautiful being. Don't let the small things - like appearance - rule you out of a great relationship with someone who appreciates EVERYTHING about you!

Appealing to the Male Psyche

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Comments? Questions? Suggestions?

Textual Healing: It feels so right...but maybe it's wrong?!

Q: I have a 23-year-old sister who’s huge on texting, but I still think a guy should call. Am I old-fashioned? – Megan, 34

A: Not necessarily. A man should still call to set up the first 3 or 4 dates, but after you get into a rhythm, it’s okay to let it get textual. Megan, I will say this: If you’re 34 and dating around your age, your guy needs to flex his vocals, but this may not be second nature to Gen Y daters, like your sister. Online dating has much less stigma nowadays, and smart phones make it all too easy to flirt via Blackberry. It can be done, and the fact is, it’s being done.

LOLs may not have you hearting anyone right away, but as long as the message and the mode of communication fits, give the man a chance. If things are serious between you and you’re texty Casanova, an “I <3U” from your iPhone should definitely mean an “I Love You” in person. The cliché is true: It’s the thought that counts – but a good execution is worth plenty of bonus points in the bedroom!

Receive your FREE love consultations

Sarah Kathryn Smith, veteran matchmaker and businessowner is offering free love consultations to the public! Receive your free consultation today by sending in your questions and stories to info@8at8.com. Sarah Kathryn can guide you down the rocky path of first date faux-pas, break-ups, and everything in between. Let's resolve those matters of the heart!

We're also featuring real-life experiences of singledom - the good, the bad, and the "Oh, #%*$ no!". We want to hear it all! Bookmark The Singles Scoreboard to keep you up to date in the latest news about dating and relationships.

One thing's for sure - Sarah Kathryn likes men that send her flowers!

V-Day Heart Attack: "I-Hate-This-Day-otitis"

Q: I'm sick of the hype of Valentine's Day, not because I'm single - I'm married. It's just another reason for companies to capitalize on the insecurities and delusions of couples, and positively reinforces disproportionate spending on items with expiration dates. The last word that comes to mind is "romantic". - Brandon, 35

A: Oh honey, those are my least favorite parts of V-Day too! However, disagree as you may on celebrating it, this pseudo-holiday will come back every year as far as I know (as confirmed by the inner circle of elite matchmakers). You should capitalize. Romance happens when you press all the right buttons, whether it's on the 14th day of the second month of the year or not. Brandon, just know that every woman likes having P.M.S.- a physical manifestation of sentiments, that is! Women like to tell friends how fantastic their man is. Find a new and creative way to celebrate this tired old day, if you really want to stick it to the Man!

V-Day Heart Attack: Gift giving

Q: My girlfriend and I have been together eight months. I know she's expecting something for Valentine's Day, and I feel an immense amount of pressure to deliver. What do I get her? - Charles, 27 

A: Young man! Take a deep breath (or two...or three). It's simply not in your cards to strike out with the wrong gift (a.k.a. gym membership for your Yes-I-gained-weight-and-I-know-it girlfriend), as long as you change your thinking. The Coynes' make an excellent point in their book, Brainsteering. The best gifts don't appear out of thin air after racking your brain for weeks on end. Instead, the best ideas can come from playing on the uniqueness of your relationship, and by considering the special moments, great laughs, and interests that you two have shared. What's something that only you as her boyfriend would know to do for her or give to her? Keep these questions in mind this Valentine's Day and you will melt your girlfriend into a puddle of happiness and adoration.

Cupid's At Lunch: Sarah Kathryn's survival tips for Valentine's Day

Dear Friends,

Several of you have written in with questions regarding Valentine's Day. Spending quality time with loved ones is a great way to check in on their thoughts, moods, and feelings. The busier we become, the more important it is to make an effort to spend time with the special people in your life. Going the extra mile to maintain communication in all areas of your life is vital to your happiness! 

 Happy Valentine's Day!

Sarah Kathryn Smith
Founder  

sks@8at8.com
www.8at8.com
 

Racking your brains on love? Just A.S.K. (Ask Sarah Kathryn)!

Valentine's Day Poll

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How to get the most out of a paid dating service

You’ve just invested your precious earnings into finding yourself an incredible person with whom you may be celebrating White Dress and Black Tux Day. The great thing about a paid dating service is that you can do so many things to make sure you receive your money’s worth (read blog entry: Tips for Finding Love in the New Year). Just don’t forget to put in some extra hours into Project Introspection!

Ask yourself the following questions: How open am I to meeting new people? Do I have realistic expectations? Do I really want to find love or am I subconsciously holding myself back?

Let’s address the dating elephant: age. As an experienced matchmaker, I’ve seen the best results come out of people looking for the right one within ten years of their own age. If you’re a 34 year-old woman who wants to date older, date 35 to 45 and maybe a couple years younger. There are guys in their 20s who date women in their 30s, but they are an exception; not the rule. If you’re a 40 year-old guy, anything younger than 30 will cause some cross-generational issues (Fonzi who?). I have observed this in many cases for any age, regardless of hotness level.

Everyone wants to find love and many want a family – but don’t rush in to or out of any relationship because your date doesn’t already have a crib in their bedroom! Having children and child rearing are equally a topic of debate for people who already found a partner in life. When talking family and kids, the “biological clock” is brought up to make a point about the dateable age cap on women, but men need to hear that ticking sound loud and clear as well. There comes a time when men lose their ability to attract women of childbearing age. There are exceptions, but unless you’re an outlier like Hugh Hefner, stick to the rule. 

Everyone deserves love. I truly believe this. I want to see each person find someone with whom they can share their amazing qualities and lives. I live for this – no really, my income is based on my skill as a matchmaker. All non-jokes aside, the point of matchmaking is that both sides are happy to be matched. By all means, don’t lower your dating standards, but if someone is interested in you, an open mind is a splendid key to the riches of the dating world! Don’t immediately turn your nose up at someone because they’re not what you typically date. Dating is a numbers game gang! The more people you are open to meeting, the more you improve your odds of meeting someone fantastic. You may actually find that the right one is a far departure from your usual picks– in the best way possible.

Best of luck! We're rooting for ya!

Be thoughtful on a budget: Flowers

In case you haven't noticed the wide array of pinks, reds and everything heart-shaped during this time of year, let me fill you in: Valentine's Day is around the corner. Whether or not you celebrate it is up to you, but any occasion to show how you feel towards your cuddle buddy should be done with a dose of thoughtfulness and a hint of romance. Ever thought about a spontaneous bouquet of flowers - that aren't roses? Be romantic and thoughtful by picking up a few names and meanings of these budget-conscious relationship boosters.

Red Tulip: declaration of love

Yellow Tulip: hopelessly in love

Violet: faithfulness

Sunflower: adoration

Passion flower: passion

Orchid: delicate beauty

Pansy: loving thoughts

Casablanca: celebration

Lilac: first love

Forget-me-not: remember me forever

Yellow Chrysanthemum: secret admirer

See more flower meanings here

Txt D8ing - Not a Good Idea!!!

Relationships are about relating! A flirty text message here or there can be fun and sexy, and sometimes it’s more convenient to send a quick text than to call and say you’re on your way. However, text messaging should supplement, not supplant, your dating communications. You cannot get to know someone on an intimate level within a 140 character limit, and nothing can replace time spent, memories made and affection shared. The shorthand text language also opens relationships to serious misunderstandings. Again, open, honest (face to face, if possible) two-way communication, even if old-fashioned, is still the best way to get closer with a potential life partner. Put the Blackberry down and no one will get hurt.

My Little Angel - Yuki!

Our phones ring off the hook in our office and if you call Eight at Eight, you're likely to get to talk to this lovely lady.  Yuki began working with Eight at Eight as an intern last spring and quickly became indispensable.  Yuki is the brilliant author of our emails, has re-written all of the verbiage on the web pages, answers phones, makes reservations, counsels clients, and solves problems!

During the month of January, Yuki took a trip she has been planning and saving for during all of 2010.  She is fluent in Japanese and traveled to Japan to visit friends.  While abroad, Emily Wingfield (Sarah Kathryn's Sister) worked 40 hours per week trying to fill her BIG shoes.  It was fun to have a change of pace in the office, but now that Yuki is home we want her to stay in the Good Old U.S. of A!!!!  Welcome back Yuki!!!  And Emily is glad to be back at home with her young son, Charlie.

Play Your Cards RIGHT!

The New Year offers an opportunity for hopeful singles to press the reset button.  It’s a great time to evaluate last year’s dating strategy for successes (as well as failures).  Sometimes, a fresh start is exactly what you need to jumpstart an active love life.  This year, don’t just restart your love life; kick up the effort several notches by avoiding common dating mistakes.

PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT!   The instant gratification generation needs instant feedback, so the days of waiting a few days to call so you don’t look desperate, of playing hard to get and of being dishonest about current relationship statuses went out with MySpace pages.  People are so accustomed to the instant feedback of Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites, these dating games can make you look disinterested or, worse, disrespectful.  The way you begin a relationship sets the tone and long-term relationships need open and honest communication to flourish.  It’s alright not to show all your cards at first, but it’s best to play it straight.