She's Too Tall, He's Too Short- Height of Love?

[caption id="attachment_2735" align="aligncenter" width="350"] Photo Credit: www.pya.cc[/caption]

"He's nice, but he's too short. She's beautiful, but she's too tall." These are things we hear clients say all the time, but does love really have a height requirement?

Recently, things became even more complicated when a client commented the woman he was on a date with was too short. Could she not put on a tall pair of heels to solve this issue? Sometimes both men and women have an illusion of what their ideal partner will look like. This illusion keeps them from finding the one who is truly for them.

The desire for a taller woman is not usually the norm. Most men who date through One on One or Eight at Eight request to be matched with shorter women. A psychological study shared by www.nature.com suggests that the desire for shorter women is linked to a subconscious preference for less powerful women. This is just one possible explanation, but scientists are not 100 percent sure where the preference comes from. That being said, if the woman is not half a foot taller than you and she is a beautiful all-around great woman, why not give it a shot to see if any chemistry develops?

Women are the worst, when it comes to height requirements. If you're 5'5" does he really have to be 6 feet tall? A guy who is caring, supportive and stable with a great personality is what you really want. Date the 5'7" awesome guy and just wear flats. Remember, you will ideally be with your husband for the rest of your life. A tall jerk is not something you should settle for. Of course, there are nice tall men too, but the average height for a man is 5'9" according to the Huffington Post. The odds are your perfect match will not be a giant hunk of man, but an average height hunk of man who is above average in every other way.

Start bending on your height requirements and see how much the quality of the people you date improves.

Until next time, good luck!

Eight at Eight and One on One

Ask us about our national date coaching program-  888-897-8285, coaching@1on1matchmaking.com.

3 Ways to Let Your Money Speak for Itself

[caption id="attachment_2728" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Photo credit: www.biggerpockets.com[/caption]

We will get to the ways you can let your money speak for itself in a moment.

First, you should know talking about money is NOT a turn on! Especially, if you're dating someone who has their own financial wealth.

Whether you're a man or a woman, when you run your mouth talking about how much money you have during your date, it is just not sexy. It makes you seem classless and arrogant. The only person who would enjoy listening to how much money you have is someone who wants you for your money. DUH! Instead you should let your money speak for itself.

*These examples can be used for both men and women, but men are the most common offenders in the crime of money boasting, so they are directed at men. Many of the men we are in contact with get negative feedback for boasting about their wealth too much.

1. Do dinner somewhere nice- If you're already at a five star restaurant and you order a three-course meal, I think she gets the point fellas. You don't have to talk about how much money you've got in the bank or how you dropped a million dollars on your new yacht, especially if you don't know her well. For all you know she could have more millions than you do. It's a new day and age. Women who have their own businesses can easily stand up against men, when it comes to income and there are many of them.

2. Make sure she sees your car- Don't talk about your awesome car. Offer to pick her up. When she sees you in your Lamborghini, she'll get it. You have money. Even if she gushes over your nice car, whatever kind of car you may have, don't indulge in sharing how much it cost, how much every single upgrade was, or how much you spent on having custom seats made. Now that you've shown her what you can afford, she will equate that with you having money.

3. Show it in your clothes and accessories-The way you dress can definitely make you appear more wealthy than you actually are. More and more men are becoming more fashionable, but chances are your lady is way ahead of you. She will recognize the custom suit you have on is expensive. If you go on a few casual dates and only wear the most expensive brands, she will recognize them for their notable features. You may not know much about fashion, if that's the case there are all kinds of resources to help you get your look together.

Try picking up a men's fashion magazine like GQ Magazine, getting a stylist, personal shopper, or Googling "men's fashion" to get ideas.

Those are your three tips on making your money speak. Really, you should not use your money as a crutch to get anyone to be more interested in you. In the long run, the person who comes in your life not knowing how much money you make will be the one who is the most genuine.

Until next time, good luck!

One on One and Eight at Eight 

Having a Good Conversation

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Having a good conversation can be tricky but it's definitely possible. We are going to break down the fundamentals of a good conversation for you today.

Okay,  you've done your hair, done your nails, picked out the perfect outfit, you're looking HOT! You go to sit down at the table and you suddenly realize that you have nothing interesting to say. Getting into a good flow of conversation can be unnerving, but you shouldn't worry- you've got this!

Start slow. Sure, everyone hates small talk but when you are a good conversationalist, you can make small talk grow into a good conversation. Once you've got it rolling it keeps getting bigger and better. In order for the conversation to become something bigger than small talk, you've got to know how to LISTEN.

Women's Example: He is talking about football. You don't know much about football but you have a friend or family member who also loves it. Say something like, "My brother is always talking about Tebow. What's that about?" or try, "I have heard football games get pretty wild. What's the wildest thing you've seen at one?" Show that you have some kind of interest in it, even if you don't care to know the difference between a touch down and field goal.

Men's Example: She loves to cook. Ask her what her favorite dish is. "Is that a French dish?" if she says, "Yes, I love French food!" respond, "Cool, have you ever been to France?" Now you have opened up room to talk about traveling and the places you want to visit or have visited. The conversation is in your comfort zone.

The point isn't to keep talking about things that don't interest you but to find a way to make them interesting to the both of you.

Until next time, good luck,

One on One and Eight at Eight

How Do You See Your Date?

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This post isn't about where your date will be or your vision. The question, "How do you see your date?" refers to your perception of your date. Are you seeing your date through your positive frames of perception or your negative ones?

For instance, when you first meet your date, do you immediately think, "Ugh, I hate that outfit?" If that's your first thought before speaking to them, you've got on your negative frames of perception. Pop out those negative frames and pop in the positive frames. Now, you should see them and think,"Different choice of outfit, but I can't wait to get to know them!"

See the difference?

If your date says something off the wall or has completely different interests from you, don't be  instantly negative about it. It will ruin your experience and it's guaranteed that if you make it a habit to leave those negative frames of perception over your eyes, you'll hate every date you have. You'll find something wrong with their hair, their body, their outfit, their car, their meal choice, their taste in movies, their taste in music...you'll find any and every reason not to like them.

That is one surefire way to remain single. Nobody is perfect and you can't see the positive without putting on your positive frames of perception. Remember, it's also important to look at yourself positively. If you struggle with that, check out our post about being the best you.

Until next time,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

"Get Your Sexy On" Happy Hour and Style Event Recap

First, we would like to thank everyone, members and non-members, who attended our fabulous "Get Your Sexy On" style coaching event! We had so much fun and learned so much about date appropriate attire. The most simple changes can make the sexiest difference in an outfit. Who knew? Image consultants, Carmen Westbrook and Victor Rogers, that's who!

[caption id="attachment_2703" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Image consultants Victor Rogers and Carmen Westbrook[/caption]

The following are a few tips that stuck out the most:

• Fit, fit, fit!- Men, a shirt that fits is not too tight, it just fits. You're used to the extra room because you've been wearing shirts that are two sizes too big. Big shirts may be comfortable, but they are also sloppy. The same applies to pants. Women, showing a little skin and wearing clothes that actually show your shape won't make you a "hoochie mama."  Wearing clothes that are too big for you will make you look frumpy dumpy.


• Women, repeat after me,"I will wear a DRESS to my date."- Men across the room agreed a dress was their preferred piece of clothing for a date. Get off of your high horse for a moment. Sure you're a powerful business leader, you also want a powerful man. Play the feminine role and let him play the masculine role on your date. No one at the office has to know!


• If your wallet is a mess, she may think you are too.- Women like when men know how to accessorize in a masculine way. The wallet is the most common male accessory , but sometimes even a nice wallet can give women the wrong idea. A nice wallet  bursting with junk implies you're a mess according to Director of Matchmaking, Jennifer, and several women who were in the audience. All women were able to agree, even if you aren't assumed to be a mess due to your wallet, a big fat wallet full of receipts (not money) isn't attractive.


• Don't be afraid of trying too hard- Your date wants to feel like you cared about coming to see them. Don't come to a date looking like you're just stopping by to chat with a friend. In the words of the image consultants, "The goal is to get to naked right?" Spark some interest. Show you have something nice going on under those clothes. Remember, fit, fit, fit!

[caption id="attachment_2699" align="alignnone" width="300"] Coffee date look. Yes, it's possible to be casual and still look like you care![/caption]

There were several models to help the audience get a better understanding of what their outfits should look like. Special thanks to Kurt, Carolina, Chris and Jennifer for strutting their stuff!

                                 

At the end of the presentation, the audience had a fun Q&A session with the style coaches. A variety of topics were covered including favorite date outfits of men and women, custom clothing, bad accessories and good accessories, and how to compliment a woman.

[caption id="attachment_2693" align="alignnone" width="300"] Asking why more men don't get manicures. Good question![/caption]

Of course, we let our singles mingle together, before and after the presentation.

   

About Carmen Westbrook:

[caption id="attachment_2706" align="alignnone" width="172"] Image Consultant
Carmen Westbrook[/caption]

“What I like about fashion has nothing to do with the superficial aspect of it - the “it” bag of the season, possessing everything that is hot, new, or purely high end designer. It’s about how the perfect outfit can transform the way you feel. It’s about creating a wardrobe that’s a true reflection of your unique personality and style.”

That simple fashion philosophy, and a real desire to do something meaningful, is what led Carmen Westbrook to create Naked. She’s truly passionate about fashion and making people feel comfy in their own skin (with some clothes on, of course). Click here to learn more about Carmen's Naked Fashion Help.

About Victor Rogers:

[caption id="attachment_2705" align="alignnone" width="176"] Image Consultant Victor Rogers[/caption]

Victor has an incredible eye for detail and a gift for encouraging people to look and feel their absolute best. He created Victorious Inc. as a way to combine his talents, interests and favorite activities, while helping people improve their image through smart wardrobe choices. He especially enjoys helping clients navigate major transitions such as career change, significant weight loss or gain, or 'suddenly single' and dating again. No matter where they are, Victor knows that by putting their best foot forward (in the right shoe, of course!) , they will look and feel better along their journey.

Born in L.A. (Lower Alabama), Victor studied psychology and English literature and earned a degree in broadcast news and public affairs. He has worked in public relations and communications for more than 15 years, writing, consulting, and preparing individuals and groups for media interviews by giving tips on what to say and what to wear (or what not to wear) during that crucial moment. To learn more about Victor's Victorious Inc. click here.

Hope you took notes!

Until next time,

One on One and Eight at Eight

Internet Stalking, Don't Do It!

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It's no secret that today you can ‘Google’ just about anything or anyone you want. You can find out how much your neighbor paid for their home, the criminal background of just about anyone and even your co-workers' salaries. Just because the social media and ‘Google’ make it  so -darned- easy to cyber stalk does NOT mean you should do it.

Before a first date, please don't Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn, Google or stalk your potential match in any way. If you have been set up through a good friend, or reputable company like One on One Matchmaking or the 8 at 8 Dinner Club, you have nothing to worry about. If you read all about your future date online, it will make you look like a creepy person for knowing WAY too much about them already. It will also prevent organic conversation from developing between the two of you because you already know everything. This all adds up to a less fun firstdate. Snooping around the Internet may also cause you to make snap judgments about someone, before you have even met. Our first impressions of people can hinder us from wanting to get to know them, if they are based on what we have heard or read about them, rather than what we have experienced with them.

For example, you may see several pictures of your date with the opposite sex. Your first impression could be "player" or "not serious about a relationship." Those people could simply be relatives and now you're headed to the date with a bad seed in your mind about them. That bad seed could cause you to be awkward, ruin the date and miss out on someone who is a big family person. Do you see where we're headed with this? Pictures are NOT worth a thousand words, when it comes to judging the character of a stranger....well unless it's a picture of them doing something violent or incriminating.

Besides, slipping up on the date and showing you know way too much about them is one extremely quick way to make your date think you’re A PSYCHO STALKER crazy.

Just relax. It is a first date. If there isn’t a connection or chemistry and you don’t want to go out with them ever again- good news- you don’t have to! Don’t be scared of dating. You have to put yourself out there to get the results that you are looking for. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Good luck and don't stalk,

One on One and Eight at Eight 

3 Reasons Your Hot Date Turned Cold

 

The date was a success! You talked and laughed for hours. You call your hot date to ask for a second one. What happened? Your hot date turned cold.

This happens to both men and women. Anything could have happened. Maybe it was something you said, lack of chemistry or an ex swept them off of their feet right after your date. Some things you can't avoid but the way you carry yourself on your date is in your control. Make sure you didn't commit any of the offense below. If you did, that may be the reason your hot date turned cold.

You Referenced Your Ex: Sure, everyone knows not to talk abouttheir past relationships on dates, but think back to your date. Did you subconsciously talk about them? "Oh Jenny used to love that movie!" or "Bob hated hiking. I'm glad you like it!" While you're not really talking about them, you're still referencing them, as you're sitting on a date with someone else. That implies you're dwelling, which for people who like to stay drama-free is a turnoff. Who wants to be compared to the ex all the time? You're not with them for a reason. Don't compare them to this great new person. Give them a clean slate.

You Complained: Nothing turns off someone who's interested in you faster than complaining all the time. "I wish I  could drop a few pounds," "Ugh this food is terrible. We should've done a different restaurant," or "Our waiter is terrible. What's wrong with him?" are all things you should avoid saying on the first few dates. Be positive and happy to be on the date, until you have proven that you're not an all-round negative person. Remember, they don't have a lot to go on so the way you behave on the date is perceived to be how you are in general.

You Were Mean: Sometimes the waiter makes mistakes or people bump into you. When you're on a date you need to be on your best behavior when this happens. Don't be mean to the waiter for forgetting you wanted water with no ice. Don't shove someone who bumps into you because it's crowded and please, please, please don't say, "Well there goes their tip!" That comment is rude and uncalled for. It's not funny to someone who doesn't know you- it's mean. Also, if your date is a little out of the loop don't make them feel bad by saying things like, "You didn't know that?What's wrong with you?" Try not to verbally react to things that annoy you on the date. Make your date feel like you are a friendly, welcoming person and they'll want to see you again.

We hope these tips will help you in the future. Are you guilty of any of these things? Make an effort not to reference your ex (no matter what), be positive and make no complaints. Be friendly and welcoming on your date instead of a mean grouch and that hot date will stay hot for you!

If you aren't making these mistakes, it just means there was no mutual chemistry. May be you were too much like a friend or didn't seem interested enough- make sure to smile often. It could be any number of things, but as long as you are on your best behavior, it's no fault of yours.

Good Luck,

Eight at Eight and One on One

Photo credits: www.parentsconnect.com- fun date, www.vanessandra.com- questionable heart, www.servextra.com-man waiting by phone