Good Things Don’t Come Easy! No Really… They Don’t!

People say to me all the time, "Don't you feel so lucky to have met your husband?"  This got me thinking. On one hand, yes, I do feel lucky to have met my partner. On the other, I knew what I wanted and I went after it, therefore I feel like I deserve it. Just like a sales call, I knew what I wanted the final outcome to be. I knew that finding a great husband and future father of my children were the most important things to me. Finding love and happiness was definitely worth the risk of failure.

It’s pretty simple.

You want it. You strive for it. You try even harder. You don’t quit.

I met my husband on the 2^nd round of joining a dating service, and on the 9^th date. I had been on dozens of bad dates prior. I had a date show up drunk, I had to walk home from dinner one night because my date got a DUI with me in the car; trust me I have done my time. I treated the bad dates as funny stories to tell my girlfriends over cocktails and didn’t let them upset me. Quitting my search for Mr. Right was never an option. For me, dating was a fun journey and an adventure.

As a matchmaker, the biggest frustration in the business is when people give up or simply do nothing. Stop whining to your friends and family if you are not ready to put your money where your mouth is. If you go on a bad date or Eight at Eight dinner where there was not a connection, don't give up. Dating is a process and everyone you meet along the way will help you learn more about yourself and what you are looking for.

Dating CAN be fun; you just have to make an effort to look at it that way. Think about exercise. I hate running, but guess what? It’s something I have to do to keep my booty in check. I run with friends, download new music, change locations and do whatever I have to do to keep it fresh, new and fun. Dating is no different. You have to keep it fresh, new and fun.

So don't give up on dating! Stay positive and remember to give your matchmaker both written and verbal feedback so that they can help you stay on track to finding your perfect match. We always feel like we won the World Series here in the office when someone ends up in a relationship. Believe me, we want it just as much as you do!

Online Dating Tips

 

Guys, listen up. Before you send a message to a new crush on your favorite online dating site, please take a few pieces of advice. What you say and how you say it are detramental to your online dating success. A few simple mistakes may ruin your chances with a potential date before she even meets you.

First things first. Don't be creepy. Women looking for relationships don't want a message full of "hey baby's" and pet name calling. They want to hear why you are interested in dating them. Talk about a mutual hobby or sports team, an aspiration in life or something you have in common. She wants to know why you think the two of you will hit it off. If you feel the strong urge to tell her she is beautiful, do so in a flattering way. There is a fine line between flattery and being flat out degrading.

Always be very respectful. When meeting a woman you want to date for the first time in person, would you gush over her hot bod, call her sexy or make inappropriate comments? No. Same applies to dating online. Don't make her feel cheap. Always give her the same respect that you would anyone else. Mentioning sex in an initial email is a quick way to turn her off to the idea of a date with you.

Finally, in online messages, genuinely get to know your potential date. If you are hitting it off, ask her on a real date. No "meeting up" in bars or inviting her to hang with the guys. A date. Just the two of you.

Now ladies, this isn't to say that you do everything right either. You have to follow the same rules as the guys, but shouldn't be too forward. Being pushy is un-ladylike and can push men away.

Just remember, always be yourself, be respectful and friendly, and of course, have fun!

Fabulous News from 8 @ 8 DC!

Everyone here at the 8 at 8 Dinner Club whole-heartedly believes that our fun-filled dinners are a great way to meet singles and form new relationships, but when we get emails like the one that we got this morning, it completely brightens our days!



We received an email from Mike  cancelling a dinner that he was signed up for in the next couple of weeks. The reason? He is now seriously dating another 8 at 8 member that he met at a prior dinner! When we responded to his email and asked him who the lucky lady is he simply responded, “Carrie. But I’m the lucky one.” Our hearts are melting!

Mike and Carrie are both now former members of the 8 at 8 Dinner Club. Of course we hate to see them go, but we are even more excited that they have found love! We want to send HUGE congratulations to Mike and Carrie on their new-found relationship and wish them the best of luck!

Dressing to the Nines (or Eights!) For Eight at Eight

Before a big date, do you find yourself scrambling at the last minute to put together the perfect outfit? Do you come home to a giant mound of wadded up clothes and shoes on your bedroom floor after the date? I have good news for you ladies: You aren’t alone! Meeting someone for the first time can be stressful. Of course you want to make the perfect first impression on your date, starting with your outfit.

First, look up the restaurant you are going to have dinner at on your date. The website, menu and pictures should all give you a great idea of how casual or dressy that particular restaurant is. As far as casual places go, remember it is always better to be over dressed than under dressed! Dressing appropriate for the atmosphere is key.

Next, you want your outfit to be memorable, but not for the wrong reasons! You don’t want your skirt to be too tight, your dress to be too short, or your top to be so low cut that your date can’t focus on what’s most important -- YOU! Remember the high-low rule: if you are wearing a short skirt or dress, the neckline should not be too revealing. If you are wearing a lower cut top, your choice for bottoms should not show too much leg. It’s simple!

Finally, don’t be afraid of color! So many women play it safe and wear black. Now don’t get me wrong, black is a fabulous color and can be very flattering.  But if you do decide to wear black, spice it up with some fun, colorful statement jewelry!

Most importantly, you need to feel good in what you wear. When you feel good, you look your best and your confidence will radiate! Knock ‘em dead!

Introducing Our Newest Addition

We are excited to introduce the newest addition to the Eight at Eight Dinner Club team: Our intern, Megan Whyte.  Megan is a recent graduate from the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!) with a degree in public relations and consumer economics. She is 22 years old and has just moved back to Atlanta from good ole’ Athens, Georgia. Here are the basics to help you get acquainted:

Name: Megan Whyte

Favorite Color: Teal

Favorite Food: Sushi

Favorite Movie: Titanic (Oldie but a Goodie!)

Favorite Actor: Jeffery Dean Morgan

Interesting Fact: Voted best dressed in high school

Tell us a secret: I don’t know my real hair color… SHHH!

Can’t live without: My mom!

Hobbies: Working out, Water Sports, Spending time with family & friends (including a sweet little Maltese named Macie) & Shopping

Is Your Man Cheap?!

Are you dating a penny pincher?!

Most of the time, men are more than happy to pay for dinners and drinks, but sometimes - or eventually - they want to split the bill or share the cost.  Does this make them "cheap"?!

We set up a first date the last week, and the feedback for the date was really interesting... "We had a great time.  He was attractive, interesting... we had a lot in common, and we talked all night!  However, when the bill arrived he looked at it and said “this is a pretty cheap dinner, how about you pay $15 bucks of it?”  Excuse me!?

The lady was so turned off by the thought that he was a cheapskate, that she never wanted to see him again.  All in all, it was a great date... until he asked her to put up a lousy $15.  So, I ask… Would you consider this cheap?!  Before jumping to a conclusion, and since the date was good… maybe give the guy the benefit of the doubt...?  But... what if it happens again?!  Does that put him in the super-cheap-o and un-date-able department?

This date feedback got me to thinking about what defines a cheap man… and then I came across this blog posting by Molly Hill on the Blog “The Modern Woman’s Survival Guide," - titled “What To Do If You’ve Fallen In Love With A Cheapskate.”

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

The Key is Finding Someone to Love!

I've got lots of clients that are picky. They are often dismissing the opportunity to meet quality introductions that I'm suggesting on a snap judgment. I was up the other night because I was worried about a particularly picky client and challenged by his lack of adventure when it comes to dating! I remembered a section of one of my all time favorite books - How to Stop Looking for Someone Perfect and Find Someone to Love by Judith Stills, Ph.D.

This book is no longer in publication - if you buy it on Amazon you'll pay a premium. But it has lots of excellent advice for singles. I highly recommend it.

Here is an excerpt from the book that has helped me lately - hope it helps you too!

____________________________________

You walk into a party or a bar and in three minutes (more likely three seconds, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt) you've made a judgment: There's no one here who's my type. They're all jerks. You may even pride yourself on knowing your tastes and preferences so well that you seldom err in your first impressions of potential mates.

I would like to focus your attention on two points. First, if you are a person who takes pride in these lighting-quick judgments of others, I'll bet that you find your judgments are predominantly negative. People who allow themselves to make rapid judgments most often make negative ones because they're very safe. If you avoid someone because, in your opinion, he's a fool or she's flaky, how can you ever really be proved wrong? you can simply chalk it up to matters of taste, pride yourself on your selectiveness, and avoid that person so you never have an opportunity to discover if you're wrong.

Positive attitudes and positive judgments are riskier. They open you up to more people, more experiences, and the possibility of disappointment. Of course, they open you up to the possibility of more happiness as well, but many people cling hard to the better-safe-than-sorry stance.

Please forgive this lecture. It's just that it has sometimes been so frustrating to listen to genuinely lonely people who react critically to a potential partner because of the most trivial idiosyncrasies and based on the most premature of opinions. Most men and women report to me that they judge whether or not someone could ever be a potential partner at first glance. These same people would report that physical appearance is only one, and not the most important one, of many criteria for choosing a mate. Then why screen out so many potential candidates at first sight?

This is the most negative attitude of them all: the perspective that someone elsemust push all the right buttons and your response is entirely out of your control. Of course, anyone who is so helpless before his or her own negative attitudes has only one option - to wait for magic. The catch is, it can be a very long wait and the magic can be a very short ride.

End of lecture.