The Trouble with Online Dating

Let me clarify. The trouble with online dating has nothing to do with the method itself, but rather with the mentality that the process seems to encourage. So exactly what do I mean? I’m talking about those little boxes you check in search of your perfect mate. Age. Height. Body Type. Income. After filling out an online profile, many singles become too fixated on whether or not the person they are communicating with has fulfilled all of the elements on their “soul mate wish-list.” Is that how you pick your friends? Love is not about finding someone with the right qualifications; it’s about the way you feel when you’re together. It’s that je ne sais quoi chemistry and connection. Would you marry someone who has the perfect profile without meeting him/her first? Online dating sites can be a great resource for initiating conversations and expanding your network. Just make sure that you do not become too preoccupied with minor details from his/her profile.

Can Friends with Benefits Actually Work?

Have you ever heard the phrase dating is a winter sport? Well, the idea of the casual relationship, or summer fling, seems to be on everyone’s mind this time of year. And ever since Hollywood flooded the big screen with hits like “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached,” the question people seem to be asking is can friends with benefits actually work?

The answer to that question depends on what each partner is looking for. If you’d like to end up dating the other person, then the answer is probably not. However, research shows that if both partners are honest with each other about the terms of their relationship, then it’s more likely than not that they can actually remain friends after the fling starts to fizzle. In fact, Cosmopolitan’s article about casual relationships gives good insight on the topic and even provides statistics for various success rates. Our tips for entering into a casual relationship are simple. First, be honest with yourself and your partner about what you’re actually looking to gain from the relationship. Second, understand that these relationships will (and should) be short-lived. In the end, you deserve a head-over-heels romance…if that’s what you’re looking for.

Master the Art of Flirtation

For some, flirting with a potential companion feels as natural as breathing. For others, it can feel forced, causing much anxiety and confusion. But no matter who you are, flirting is an important skill to master. Think of it as an art, but one that can be learned with some practice and the right approach.

Flirting should be fun, so lower your expectations and don’t take yourself too seriously. If you expect to date someone the moment they act flirtatious, then you’re likely to come across as desperate. You may only speak with them for a short period of time and then never talk to them again. So, keep your initial expectations low and avoid feeling constantly disappointed.

It is important to be aware of body language especially during the initial approach. If you see someone from across the room, smile at them, hold their gaze, and position your body toward them. If they respond positively, then you can walk up to them and introduce yourself. You’ve got nothing to lose!

Remember, the key to holding a good conversation is that you both gradually open up. When the other person is talking, make sure you give them your complete attention. It is much more important to be a good listener than it is to say something witty. Try to act friendly, upbeat, and remember to have fun!

Sexy Foods make a Hot Date

So, you secured yourself a date for Friday night. Sometime getting a date can be a lot easier than planning that perfect night out. You know you’re going to want sometime to eat, but how do you choose the right restaurant or meal? We’re here to help with a list of foods that will put you in the mood for love. We all know about oysters and chocolate, but you may be surprised by some of the foods on this list. Click the following link to read Gayot’s list of ten super sexy foods. Check please!

Single and Ready to Mingle??

After ending a relationship, no matter how serious, it can be difficult to determine when you're ready to move on.  There are many theories about the time it takes to heal a broken heart: weeks, months, or even half the time of the relationship. In the end, it’s a personal decision, and while there's no magic number, there are several signs that may mean you’re ready to start dating again. The Two of Us, a relationship website, provides some questions to consider.

Do you find yourself constantly talking about your ex?

Can you speak of the relationship without feeling angry or bitter?

And if your ex wanted to reconcile how would you respond?

Everyone will recover at a different rate so it’s important to trust yourself and set your own pace. You may need some time to transition back into the dating scene. Eight at Eight Dinner Club may be a great option for meeting single, relationship-minded professionals without the pressure of one on one dating.

A.S.K. (Ask Sarah Kathryn)

"Should I give him another chance?"

Q: I went on a date a few nights ago with a family friend and what started out as a fabulous evening quickly turned into a disaster! I met this man at his house for a pre-dinner drink, and then we headed for a meal in Buckhead. We were having a great time, and so we decided stop by another bar because we didn’t want the night to end. To make a long story short, he got a DUI because his B.A.C. was (barely) over the legal limit. I know everyone makes mistakes, but his actions were pretty careless. He has apologized profusely and asked me out again. Should I give him another chance? –Megan, 28

A: I am sure that he is a great guy, but this seems like a rocky way to start a relationship. Besides, he is going to be busy for the next few months dealing with repercussions from that night. Maybe you will see him again in the future, but for now I would give him some space.

We would be happy to set you up with some gentlemen from our Eight at Eight Dinner Club!

A.S.K. (Ask Sarah Kathryn)

"Am I Out of Line?"

Q: I've been on several fantastic dates with this guy, and I really like him.  However, I don't want to get too attached before knowing a few more things. We're both ready to be in relationships, and the timing seems right in terms of where we are in our careers, finances, etc. I'm only several dates deep with this guy, but family preference is an absolute dealbreaker for me. I'm not saying that I want kids right now, but I'd like to know if he's open to the possibility of a family. How do I even break into this topic with him?    - Ava, 30-something

A: Ava, thanks so much for coming to us! You've hit the nail on the head - Family and reproductive decisions are so personal! This may seem like the last thing you want to ask your beau about in the honeymoon stages of your relationship, but it is not impossible! You definitely want to avoid wording like, "Are you going to give me babies one day?" Instead, try asking him a broader question about his vision for the future (with or without you). "Tell me what you are looking for in terms of a relationship?" and "Do you see yourself settling down and maybe having children one day?" are perfectly fair questions for the third date. If you're both invested in a long-term relationship, then these questions should be easy to weave into a conversation. I wish you the best of luck Ava!